FIREblog

Thursday, April 28, 2005

YEA!!!

First time drinking alcohol so quickly, so much content summore.... feeling quite giddy and quite sleepy now... now i cant slp, even on the bus juz now i cant slp... so i tink i cant slp now... haha... bud its okay.. we do haf a reason for it.. lolx

NJC guitar club went Singapore Conference Hall today for SYF Central Judging. Altho faced with tough competition from schs like RJ and VJ, we are proud to announce tt our guitar club obtained a GOLD!!! A FRIGGIN GOLD!!! YEA MAN!!! lolx... I seem like writing presentation speech for announcement during morning assembly liddat... i tink i juz high on alcohol... anyway yes, we obtained a gold, after dunno how many years, finally guitar club wuld be getting more money frm the sch bcoz of this gold... lolx... Abt today, well arrived at sch at 9 smth in the morning sweating all over, wanted to crash FM lecture, bud felt v awkward so went to join guitar to prepare for later in the day... den rehearsed going up on stage, ran thru the pieces many many many times.... played bridge with the usual pple... sang bdae song for sumbody in guitar forgot his name... den went SCH, waterfall on my body as usual... den juz b4 the performance we, or rather i, were quite tensed up abt it la... busily checking all the tunings and parts of pieces, making sure everyone has the points drilled into their minds... Den during the actual performance itself... everyone played well, i muz say, it really was a job well done... for Granada at least... for Blackbird, lets juz say it could haf been better, bud given the tension on stage... i'm sure it was the best we had... as in we really did try our best... bud i tell u my hands were really shaking like leaves when i was performing on stage la... din hafta remind myself abt vibratos sia, the shaking facilitated it... bud i really did enjoy performing our pieces on stage sia... den we went watch the harp orchestras... man first time seeing a real harp in action, altho there were onli 2 schs competing, bud it was a real eye opener... den when the person announce the results... " GT(some no.) National Junior College... Gold" den i really jumped man... bcoz got quite a no. of schs get silver, n and almost equal no. of schs getting gold... so i was quite jing zhang... den when we got gold i was really v happy... to tink i wld be one of the few pple in this batch to make history in NJ guitar sia... lolx.. schs tt got gold included HC, VJ, TP, MJ, RJ, i tink got one more bud forgot which sch, n us... and Temasek JC got Gold with honours... honestly speaking they deserved it.. their dynamics were fantastic, and piece (first piece) was brilliant and the whole arrangement was v gd... well done TJ, u beat VJ and RJ for honours, and u really do owe it all to ROXY MAN!!! Without roxy man u all couldnt haf done it, REALLI!!! lolx... bud yar they really did play well...

anyway after this still got college day to worry abt, haf less than 2 weeks to master Brazilian Street Dance.. got absolutely no confidance in this piece at all.. bud the gold was a relief for now... i wrote my thank you speech in my earlier blog liaoz... bud at tt time i seriously din tink we wld be getting gold... anyway after tt the exco pple went back to sch, den a few of us went Jelita pizza hut for dinner, den went for a drink of sake... as in the jap wine sake... achelli juz two small cups la... bud at 16% alcohol content and constant drinking... i'm not surprised to be giddy now... lolx.. bud i tink we do deserve a toast to guitar club for the gold... GUITAR ROX!!! woo... now its left harmoc, choir, CO and band to do their stuff and get us our full day off, no intention to pressurise them bud yes, i'm sure they'll be able to get their gold too...

yes this is one day to rmb, i rmb it i shall... this is the first SYF i been to, and the first time feeling so gd abt it... yes i tink my life is getting better for a change... and abt time to... for now, i juz stone off and let go... lolx i want more sake... haha byez

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@11:42 PM
Wednesday, April 27, 2005

skimming the surface

Haha... yea my com is back in action... and i accomplished my mission. Set out to reformat my com a few days ago, bud failed... well i did manage to delete all the stupid stuffs, bud when i reinstalled windows, a lot of other stupid stuffs came to screw my com up again... unable to detect graphics and sound card, internet explorer hanging every few minutes... my father got fed up so he went to call the dell person down to set things rite... so now my com is as good as new... so hafta unload all the saved stuff... wasted me a lot of cds u noe...

yea another thing for me to be happy abt... Cultural Mapping is OVER!!! ITS BLURDY OVER!!!! for the j2's at least. And u bet i'm happy abt it, nv been so relieved in my life b4... u simply cannot imagine the tortures i and boss went thru sia... k la i'm juz exaggerating, bud tt's how it goes... and yes at last its not my turn to worry abt such stuff... bud i still hafta continuing providing assistance to the current J1 NE Ambassador now, bud at least i'm not doing all the hard work... Yea ^^

Tml's the big day... the SYF Central Judging for guitar. i'm quite confident tt if we manage to play the 2 songs well tml, we shld be able to get tt gold... gold w/ honours is still a question, achievable, bud i dare not say aniting abt it so soon.... anyways our club has indeed gone a long way, our players haf definitely put in a hell lot of effort to improve the standard of playing of our members... I rmb how it was like when we first got the scores and play the competition pieces... even i was like... kaoz how do u play this, so hard la... and the quality was really beyond er... bud look at us now, we haf improve so friggin much, and all our efforts will see the light of day tml in Singapore Conference Hall... I muz admit this is my veri first SYF competition, i haf absolutely no experience in this at all, bud i'm certain tt if everyone concentrates and remain focused tml, we can really blow the audience away... it is not impossible!! I would like to use this chance to oso thank pple, thank the guitar club for making my life in NJ more enjoyable as i really do look forward to every guitar practice, where i can kid around with sanji and rf.... Wanna thank the exco members, for putting up with my nonsense, guitar 1's nonsense, for continuously showing enthusiasm in the club and nv giving up hope, for putting in so much effort in attempts to improve the playing standard of our club and for organising the club well... wanna thank ms Ng, for her continuous guidance and strictness, for her genuine "want to help the club improve" attitude, for her voicing out her honest opinions... thank mr Kenneth Koh, for his ever-so inspiring speeches and quotes, for his interest in guitar's activities and welfare, and for his constructive suggestions and guidelines on how to improve our club's.. er... everyting. Wanna thank mr Toh, for his teaching and for his time and his commitment to our club, his pro-ness is... i cant find a gd word for describe.. ar u all get the gist.... Wanna thank conductress keeka as well, for putting up with guitar 1's nonsense, for constantly telling us wad to do wad not to do, for constantly helping out in sectionals and and doing her best to get everyone to come together as a club, and for being such a sweet ger ^^... Also wanna thank guitar 1 pple, for being so full of potential, being able so learn and improve so quickly... acherlli is bcoz of sanji's drills la... bud still, yar u all did improve at ungodly speed lolx... And last bud definitely not the least, wan thank President Kaiyun, for putting so much sweat and brainjuice into improving this club, for summoning so much courage to face all the difficulties the club has, like stuff abt concert la, J1 intake la, guitar 1 monkeys la... she really took a lot of pressure managing our club, and for getting everyone together... Finally i wuld juz wanna say tt no matter wad we get tml, as long as we give our all, as long as we do our best, all is worth it bcoz we gained so much in the process, forged a lot of frenships and been thru so much together... So we shall do our best and show to everyone in SCH our efforts tt we put in these 6 months and own the grounds man!!! Guitar ROX!!! woo...

yar i finally feeling quite happy today... bcoz today is realli quite a gd day... altho still got some things pulling my mood down... bud they're all juz illusions of the mind... life is not worth wasting time hurting ourselves with such illusions, they're juz guo yan yen yun... juz a passing cloud of smoke, not worth the time at all... so this is how its like... i hope this continues and not let the dark side get the better of me... haha.. so yar this is kyo signing off... byezz

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@11:32 PM
Thursday, April 21, 2005

ooo

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Today is another stupid day. Woke up late. Ponned CCA unintentionally. Fell asleep in both lectures. Din do tutorial. Din get to play hearts today. GP did essay. Hate doing essays. Crapped thru the 1 and half hours. Broke my specs. On one of the rare days i wear specs to sch summore. Din finish WEP tutorial during the afternoon slot. She din tok to me today. Today juz sux. Bad mood. Sorry guys. Next blog will be better i promise.

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@5:54 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Stupid life

Sometimes... i realli wonder, is it juz me, or do i juz dun seem to be able to have a day where i can truly call it a day worth treasuring bcoz it was a happy day... As much as i wan live my life as happily as i can, enjoy the company i haf, bcoz life is short, there is bound to be something tt will screw it up and leave me juz as sad abt my life as usual.. I noe there are a lot more pple out there whose lives r much more tougher than mine... bud it almost seems as if i'm cursed... so much tt its getting scary... wonder if it has anything to do with those idiotic emails tt ask u to forward to at least how many pple within 10 min, if not bad tings will happen or smth liddat... hmm...

After promos, had pw to worry abt... after pw, had cultural mapping to worry abt... now cultural mapping coming to an end (for me and the j2's at least), got SYF to worry abt... And after SYF, got College day performance to worry abt... After tt still got best practices to worry abt, and den prelims and den A lvl's... and den NS... it is all continuous lor... doesn't seem to have any pt where i can truly slow down to catch juz tt little amt of breath.. meaning slacking w/o feeling guilty.... honestly speaking i feel tt haf a v weak character, bcoz i'm sure got a lot of students who hafta carry similar or heavier burdens than i haf... and they seem to be managing well, while i'm here complaining away... lucky i haf this blog here to "earth" away all the troubles... if not all might juz end here yar...

Speaking of SYF... the day of reckoning is drawing closer... and i'm panicking. Truly. i'm seriously panicking. Bcoz of a no. of reasons. Firstly, i haf this big blister on my right middle finger, and i realli mean BIG blister... and it hurts. Everytime i play on guitar. bcoz i pluck the strings with my right hand. And i use onli my index and middle finger to play. And since the middle finger is stronger, i used to mainly use my middle finger to pluck the louder notes. Now tt i haf this blister, and now tt SYF is so near, i haf no time to train myself to use onli index and fourth finger... so i bo bian, hafta continue using middle finger as usual, bud i hafta use it to make notes loud, and sharp, so i hafta pluck hard... on requinto strings... which are basically v high action and v high tension... Wad a nasty timing to have a blister sia... and now it has evolved into one huge lum (lolx) of dead skin, which bulges out quite a fair bit. Well it's quite fun to fiddle with from time to time, budden it realli affects my playing... and my playing cannot be affect, bcoz i playing such a major part of the pieces... looks like i realli hafta slice it off with a knife maybe... ouch... so yar...

Today went SCH, Singapore Conference Hall, the venue of our SYF Central Judging, to familiarize ourselves with the place and with the stage and atmosphere. Honestly speaking, by juz being on the stage itself, even though there were no audience whatsoever, i felt v nervous. Really. By juz playing on the stage itelf i already felt nervous. And it affected my playing alot. Tt's the second reason y i panicking. Third reason is bcoz at SCH today i realised, the acoustics in the hall were so excellent tt every mistake or difference in timing could be amplified and it would seriously affect the quality of our pieces. My pt is tt there are still pple who are playing out of timing, playing the wrong notes, and not able to play together with the rest of the group... and they're mistakes could be easily heard. Apparently there are pple in the group who are "following" those who can play the pieces confidently, and when they're left to play by themselves, cannot get it right. Sad thing is tt in the SCH, the place is so big tt on the stage, the pple in the back row cannot hear the pple in the front and second row, and the pple in the second row cannot hear the pple in the front row... and the pple in the front row are usually the pple who are confident playing the pieces... i'm one of those in the front row fyi... so we hafta really train and drill those who are not confident to really noe the song as well as those in the front row... as during the performance we really can only rely on ourselves and the conductress to bring the song out well... and drilling them to achieve tt standard is not possible within this short period of a few days... arrrghhh...

After the SCH, a few of us went to clarke quay to supposedly buy silver ties for everyone performing, y go clarke quay i haf no idea... bud we went there and walked and walked till 7+ and still couldnt find the shop... so we decided to get them another day... So some went home and the rest went Komala's for dinner... Ms Ng treat ^^ lolx... budden now i realised i shldn't haf gone with them.. The food there is damn heaty, and now i feeling kinda sick... Sure i've been wanting to fall sick for a long long time... bud this is really the wrong time to fall sick... y? bcoz firstly SYF coming... i cannot afford to miss anyone practices now... secondly... NAPFA is tml for me.. i tink... and i cannot fall sick now... even if muz juz lemme go thru tml healthily, ar den fall sick... i cannot let it affect my NAPFA performance... not tt its v gd or wad... juz enuff to get silver... precisely y i cannot let it affect me till even silver oso cannot get...

I live everyday hoping tml will be better, end up being disappointed everyday. Eh i tink i sorta wrote this b4... sounds kinda familiar... and i tink i typed quite a lot today... so shant bore u all anymore... i go slp le... Bbyez

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@11:00 PM
Saturday, April 16, 2005

a normal day 2

Sad. back to being sad. means my resolution failed for this week yet again. Well i did make it a point to seem happier... bud on the whole in the end i still feel it was sad. haiz...

PW results got back le. Got a 3. A friggin band 3. Damn bloody disappointed. My whole grp got 3. While others in my class got a 2 or even a 1. Honestly speaking it came quite a shock to me, altho on the day itself i seem so bo dai ji eh... budden yet its still a disappointment. And i'm sure grace is disappointed too, altho she kept insisting she wasn't sad... bud i could sense the disappointment in her too. Yar even xinhui was sad tt she got a 3... so... i guess there nth i can do abt it now, juz let it be lor... no i shld say wad the teachers and my parents always want to hear me say... Do well for the A's to cover up for this... yup shall go pia tutorial l8terz...

SYF central judging for guitar club will be on the 28th, juz one day b4 jiahui's bdae.. Hope those are free will come down to support us yar... bcoz of this guitar club has been increasing practises and been v busy these days, especially the exco... we whole day brainstorming for ideas on how to improve the standards of our playing... like splitting into small grps and having mini competition, latecomers playing solo in front of everyone, asking non guitar pple to come hear us during our practises and give comments... so on and so forth... and i muz say the exco have really put in a lot of effort and grown a lot of white hair over this matter... for tt i applaud u all and would like to give my most heartfelt gratitude for all ur dedication to the club.... Thank you all for putting in so much effort... U guyz rock yar... so much such tt during last wed's practise, i really thot we sounded veri gd.... thinking abt how awful we sounded back den, i muz say we really haf improve a HELL lot, especially the guitar 2's and 3's... they really improved a lot. I not scared to say guitar 1 still got a lot to improve on, especially part B... bud we will continue drilling them and i'm sure b4 they actual ting itself we will be at our peak, our best... Gold with honours is not tt tough for us to get guyz, we can do it yar... It IS within our reach, so juz pia for these few weeks yar...

Cultural Mapping is almost over for the J2's, bcoz Mrs Thia says its time to hand over all the work to the J1's so tt we can concentrate on our studies. That's a gd ting rite... bud i not feeling happy... at least not now... not bcoz i like CM, bud bcoz to hand over the thing we, or rather I, hafta submit the draft for the brochure to the CM committee. And upload tt draft by yesterday. arnd 2 weeks ago i entrusted this task to jason and told him to discuss with the pple from his grp on coming up with the draft, bcoz i noe from last year's PW tt he was excellent for crapping out a piece of report. Gave him the structure of the thing and the interviews, which shld be enuff for him to come out with the statistical analysis for bt timah... bud 2 weeks later juz yesterday he passed me his draft, which i still din find satisfactory. Apparently he kept concentrating on the backgrnd info of wine and wrote a lot on wine itself, and since i onli handed him the interview transcripts, he says there wasn't enuff information. Well this project focuses mainly on bt timah, and altho i did put backgrnd info as part of the content for the brochure, i onli intended arnd 30% of it to be on backgrnd info. The rest shld talk about the situation on bukit timah. Anyway i had to hand in a draft and the CD containing the pictures and videos was also ready for submission, so i bo bian handed in tt draft together with the CD. Then jason told me to find someone else for the job. I believe it is all juz some communication breakdown between me and raeb la, i personally dun blame him, after all he is juggling between sch and his bunny... Oops shldnt haf said tt... bud yar.. In the end i tink i do it myself wld haf been better la... bud the transcripts are now with him. So i haf the next week to come up with another draft, one tt is more satisfactory... haiz....

Maybe its juz me, bud maybe its u too. I'm not blaming anyone, i'm juz hoping tt life could be a bit more beatiful and worth living, which doesn't necessarily mean i hafta be with u for it to happen. Of cuz i do wish to be with u, bud if u happier without me... den i guess it is only fair of me not bother u with my hope of being with u. I noe i'm not making any sense as usual, bud i really realli hope to get out of this darkness, which i haf been failing everyday as i try. Bud i noe i haf to succeed if i were to be happier again, so I will keep trying... haiz...

arr i tink tt's all i wanna write for today. Time to go pia tutorial le. Byez

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@10:44 PM
Sunday, April 10, 2005

a normal day... ??

Looks like i was wrong... it din vaporise... it came out as one solid piece... i dunno how i did it in the past... omg y am i writing abt dis...

today was a normal sunday... the one which i din do any work. I basically classified my sundays into 2 types: one which i mugged, or at least tried to mug, the whole day, staying at home, in front of com; ant the one which i went out the whole day, with frens or with... frens, or juz played the whole day and dun get any work done. 60% of my sundays haf been the second type, and today was no exception. Not tt i finished all of my work mind u, i'm not as mugger as mad, juz tt i feel i haf done *sufficient* to make me not die until so nan kan the next day... sian i really slack sia...

Today woke up at arnd 10, wanted to slp more, bud my father being addicted to the com which is in my rm, came in and started making a lot of noise... so i no choice bud to wake up. Washed up and den sat in front of the TV watching cartoons until 1 pm, den got rdy go visit grandfather's grave. It's qing ming today yar... so went to some thai association *or so it says* there and met up with my relatives and cousins. Though the experience wasn't as enriching and eventful as wenhao's, bud i still felt a sense of nostalgia as i climb up tt flight of stairs and saw the "cubicle" where my grandfather's urn is located. The last time i went there was dunno how many eons ago le... tt time i rmb it was quite torturous bcoz the whole place was filled with incense smoke... den my eyes hurt a lot... this year i tink bcoz we went in the afternoon, den not tt many pple, so the air was much clearer.

Stoned at the temple (with the pilots, if u get the joke, nvm if u dun) for a while, den went over to andrew's hse to fix up his com. Went there and after arnd 1 and half hrs, still cant install Frozen Throne, den he quite disappointed. Sorry bro, i tink is smth wrong with the CD, so...dun sad yar. Den figured tt we waste too much time waiting for the com to load, and looking at the CJ chio bu's from his yearbk. Gosh CJ 2004 batch got so many more chio bu's than NJ sia... oops... bud yar..

Den went over to PS to look for mori's present, with absolutely nth in mind, as in havent decided wad to get. Was looking for smth simple yet meaningful, oso not too ex. Andy suggested getting a veh cute keychain from a shop at esplanade there, budden went there and found tt the shop dun haf anymore of tt design liaoz... sian... in the end got her smth else, hope she'll like it. Still dunno whether to go for her bdae party... if i go i'll be quite awkward there, coz down there all her frenz i dunno , den i'll be alone there... and its at pasir ris i tink... budden i dun go den i dunno how to pass her her present, and she'll be disappointed... hmmm...

I keep on trying to forget abt her, bud she juz keeps appearing in my mind, in my fantasies, in my dreams... and den i wld juz get so sian diao. Juz now on the bus on the way back i was reminded of the happy times i had with her, the sweetness i felt at tt time... and tt onli means one ting... tt i havent gotten out of this darkness. Now i tink my main goal in life is not to get her, bud to get over her. I'm pretty convinced she has a bf liaoz, so i shldn't interfere in her life anymore and juz get on with my own life, and anyway the 2 of us weren't meant to be, so y force it. So now shld juz get over her, for my own happiness, for her happiness, so tt i can get out of this darkness without having to go maldives...

I realli wish to be like the maldives pple... i really do

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@11:32 PM
Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Tried Tested and Failed

I realise hor, all my previous blog entries have been opening with a weather report of the day. And i haf no idea y i do tt, it juz happen to be the first thing on my mind when i start blogging. Today it shall be the same, bud it'll be brief dun worry... Today we yet again witness nature's marvels at changing the weather as if a druid's controlling it... Morning was still normal, fair amt of cloud cover... PE tt time minimal cloud cover, friggin hot... 3 hours later u can hear the thunder roaring frighteningly clearly even in the LT, like around 5 or 6 times in a min. den now v cold... k end of weather report

Today i felt v tired... or rather juz now b4 my shower i felt v tired. I seriously dunno y, its not as if today's pe v tough... bud i juz felt like slping. Aniwae juz now during guitar prac our prac ended like arnd 5.30, den the remaining time kaiyun told us to restring our guitar. We couldn't find the requinto strings, they juz disappeared from the kage, so we couldn't restring the requintos. So Sanji rf and i were helping pple restring their guitars, acherlli is juz me and sanji, rf doesn't give a damn. Den at the end of the session i discovered a big blister on my right middle finger, which means i cant play properly for the next few weeks... sian i hope dis blister drops off by 27th....

Sometimes i realli juz feel as if God is out to make fun of me... Everytime i make a resolution to achieve smth, smth else juz HAS to cock up and get in my way. Even a simple wish like wanting to get out my dark side and feel happy oso MUZ haf smth to pull me back down... I'm almost veri sure tt she has a bf liaoz... saw smth today tt almost confirmed my speculation. I keep saying almost bcoz firstly, i dun tink i shld make definite conclusions until either there is really sufficient evidence to prove my pt or i hear it from her herself; secondly i wan give myself a tiny bit of hope; thirdly i realli not tt sure ma... Bud it was enuff to leave me devastated for the rest of the day. And tt brought me back into the abyss of darkness tt's inside me... looks like i realli hafta fly to maldives to realli forget abt her... haiz...

My thigh muscles are aching... my heart is aching even more...

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@9:59 PM
Monday, April 04, 2005

1024x768

Today was vv cold, or at least i felt cold thru out the day... which is realli veh rare firstly, in Singapore, secondly at this time of the year... which is almost always very hot and humid... this onli means one thing... the weather is getting more n more crazy as days go by. Now when i say i was cold thru out the day, i meant both indoors and outdoors, all thru the day yes... U see in the morning when i woke up, it was still dark, so as of all mornings, it was naturally cold. Den when i went to sch the sky was quite grey le, so assembly was held in the hall, which had aircon on, and as u might wanna noe our sch hall de aircon is quite cold de... Den maths tutorial was in LT, so got aircon... Maths lecture oso in LT, aircon again.. Den came chem tutorial. I dunno wad they did to the LT 5 aircon, not tt i'm saying its bad, i kinda enjoyed it, better than not having aircon at all... Bud the moment i stepped into the LT, i started shivering le... the whole LT was freezing lor... den i was shivering thru out chem lec... den break it started raining, so again cold... and it continued raining thru out contact phy tutorial and chem tutorial. Den went LT 5 collect chem results, yes LT 5 again... den after tt CCA in LT 1, they turned on the aircon.. so again cold. den jiu night time le... so there u haf it, i was v cold thru out the day.

Now onto the main pt. I was reading a fish's blog over the past few days, and i got sorta inspired in a sense. For those who haf not been reading my previous blogs, i haf been blogging by feelings down and i muz admit... they were not happy feelings at all. Not happy at all. They were all abt my sadness and depression, sadness over her, over sch work, over my parents, and... well mainly over her. And i realised quite a long time ago tt those blogs of mine resembled entries of tt fish whose blog i read.

Recently an event changed tt fish entirely, got him a new perspective in life, got him matured, got him out of tt darkness. And he's happy now, truly happy... i tink... while i'm still stuck here in this pit of darkness, still wallowing in self-pity, still stuck up with sad and painful thoughts abt her... And den i was wondering... if other pple can do it, y cant i? Do i enjoy being in the current state i'm in? Definitely not... who enjoys being sad... Do i want to continue being in the current state i'm in? of cuz not... y wld i wan continue if i not enjoying it... tt's when i got inspired by his blog. After tt event he's writing abt all the joy of having left his sad past and "opened his eyes to see the world from a different view"... er i dun tink those were his words... too lazy to refer to ur blog and quote lolx... and i realise i wanna do tt too... Bud it might take me a trip down to maldives to do tt... and i cant afford to retain myself for 1 more year in NJ juz to haf another go at the maldives trip. Bud i wan get out of this dark side of mine and enjoy my life more... Therefore i haf a resolution for myself... To juz return to my old self, try my v best to accept what i haf now, the pple arnd me now, try my best to forget abt her, and learn to let myself go... Now tt cultural mapping for the J2's is coming to a close, we'r handing all the stuff over to the J1's now, this means a whole load of pressure away from me for rest of the year, i hope i can truly feel the joy of life... the pleasure of freedom... b4 the prelims and A levels come... Man wad a spoiler.. sian..

An almost complete set of common test results i haf... CDEE i got... Not gd, not gd at all.. and i still yet to get GP back. And i dun expect to pass tt paper, i truly dun... i noe i did v badly for tt paper... Altho so far i haf passed my papers, including physix S (^^), it is BUT A PASS!! Honestly speaking it is not wad i wan, bcoz i noe i can do better... and i wan to do better.. At least get myself an A for MC... wad's an FM student without an A in MC for A levels? Therefore my second resolution is to really sit down and mug... i noe i noe it is realli not my nature do such a sacred act... bud yar... i really slack too much le la... altho i tink i wun accomplish it...lolx

Acherlli there's a lot more i wanted to tok abt de... more resolutions i set for myself thru out the day... more stuff i thot abt toking while i was in the shower juz now.. bud my age is catching up on me... i forgot wad i wan say liaoz... Well it ok, i tink i toked a hell lot today, shant bore u guyz out anymore with more words.. so i guess tt's all for today... May my life be much better after today.. yar =)

kyo burning with a fist of Neverdiminishing Flames...@10:51 PM