Tt's é Pepper, Tt's é §TÜƒƒ

Sometimes... i realli wonder, is it juz me, or do i juz dun seem to be able to have a day where i can truly call it a day worth treasuring bcoz it was a happy day... As much as i wan live my life as happily as i can, enjoy the company i haf, bcoz life is short, there is bound to be something tt will screw it up and leave me juz as sad abt my life as usual.. I noe there are a lot more pple out there whose lives r much more tougher than mine... bud it almost seems as if i'm cursed... so much tt its getting scary... wonder if it has anything to do with those idiotic emails tt ask u to forward to at least how many pple within 10 min, if not bad tings will happen or smth liddat... hmm...

After promos, had pw to worry abt... after pw, had cultural mapping to worry abt... now cultural mapping coming to an end (for me and the j2's at least), got SYF to worry abt... And after SYF, got College day performance to worry abt... After tt still got best practices to worry abt, and den prelims and den A lvl's... and den NS... it is all continuous lor... doesn't seem to have any pt where i can truly slow down to catch juz tt little amt of breath.. meaning slacking w/o feeling guilty.... honestly speaking i feel tt haf a v weak character, bcoz i'm sure got a lot of students who hafta carry similar or heavier burdens than i haf... and they seem to be managing well, while i'm here complaining away... lucky i haf this blog here to "earth" away all the troubles... if not all might juz end here yar...

Speaking of SYF... the day of reckoning is drawing closer... and i'm panicking. Truly. i'm seriously panicking. Bcoz of a no. of reasons. Firstly, i haf this big blister on my right middle finger, and i realli mean BIG blister... and it hurts. Everytime i play on guitar. bcoz i pluck the strings with my right hand. And i use onli my index and middle finger to play. And since the middle finger is stronger, i used to mainly use my middle finger to pluck the louder notes. Now tt i haf this blister, and now tt SYF is so near, i haf no time to train myself to use onli index and fourth finger... so i bo bian, hafta continue using middle finger as usual, bud i hafta use it to make notes loud, and sharp, so i hafta pluck hard... on requinto strings... which are basically v high action and v high tension... Wad a nasty timing to have a blister sia... and now it has evolved into one huge lum (lolx) of dead skin, which bulges out quite a fair bit. Well it's quite fun to fiddle with from time to time, budden it realli affects my playing... and my playing cannot be affect, bcoz i playing such a major part of the pieces... looks like i realli hafta slice it off with a knife maybe... ouch... so yar...

Today went SCH, Singapore Conference Hall, the venue of our SYF Central Judging, to familiarize ourselves with the place and with the stage and atmosphere. Honestly speaking, by juz being on the stage itself, even though there were no audience whatsoever, i felt v nervous. Really. By juz playing on the stage itelf i already felt nervous. And it affected my playing alot. Tt's the second reason y i panicking. Third reason is bcoz at SCH today i realised, the acoustics in the hall were so excellent tt every mistake or difference in timing could be amplified and it would seriously affect the quality of our pieces. My pt is tt there are still pple who are playing out of timing, playing the wrong notes, and not able to play together with the rest of the group... and they're mistakes could be easily heard. Apparently there are pple in the group who are "following" those who can play the pieces confidently, and when they're left to play by themselves, cannot get it right. Sad thing is tt in the SCH, the place is so big tt on the stage, the pple in the back row cannot hear the pple in the front and second row, and the pple in the second row cannot hear the pple in the front row... and the pple in the front row are usually the pple who are confident playing the pieces... i'm one of those in the front row fyi... so we hafta really train and drill those who are not confident to really noe the song as well as those in the front row... as during the performance we really can only rely on ourselves and the conductress to bring the song out well... and drilling them to achieve tt standard is not possible within this short period of a few days... arrrghhh...

After the SCH, a few of us went to clarke quay to supposedly buy silver ties for everyone performing, y go clarke quay i haf no idea... bud we went there and walked and walked till 7+ and still couldnt find the shop... so we decided to get them another day... So some went home and the rest went Komala's for dinner... Ms Ng treat ^^ lolx... budden now i realised i shldn't haf gone with them.. The food there is damn heaty, and now i feeling kinda sick... Sure i've been wanting to fall sick for a long long time... bud this is really the wrong time to fall sick... y? bcoz firstly SYF coming... i cannot afford to miss anyone practices now... secondly... NAPFA is tml for me.. i tink... and i cannot fall sick now... even if muz juz lemme go thru tml healthily, ar den fall sick... i cannot let it affect my NAPFA performance... not tt its v gd or wad... juz enuff to get silver... precisely y i cannot let it affect me till even silver oso cannot get...

I live everyday hoping tml will be better, end up being disappointed everyday. Eh i tink i sorta wrote this b4... sounds kinda familiar... and i tink i typed quite a lot today... so shant bore u all anymore... i go slp le... Bbyez