Tt's é Pepper, Tt's é §Tüƒƒ

Why am i back here again

2010-11-23T21:46:00.003+08:00

Seems like she's going thru tough times right now

Its not exam stress

Should i step in and do smth abt it?

but even so, what can i do? How to help her?

hmm

So ends another saga...

2009-07-27T02:05:00.002+08:00

And life goes on...

Hello, i'm very unexpectedly back here on this derelic space, for more or less the very same reason tt i always come back. Pple who noe me well enuff shld not even need to guess.

How many times has it been since tt very first run in? I dun even tink i can rmb sia... Each and everytime dmg is dealt, and after tt u get nth back. Its like u see a hero with half-life left, den u wanna ambush him, but at the end either he receives help from teammates or by sheer luck u lose the clash and die. Its tt kinda feeling. U give smth, sacrifice smth, but at the end of the day u receive nth back, and u r back to square one. It sux. It really does. I oso cant rmb how many times i've said this.

Who can i blame? At most blame myself, blame it on destiny, but wad use will it do? Tt's y i dun usually blame others for smth.. Nth comes out of it. I noe tt smth went wrong, but i cant specifically pinpt wad, and therefore not able to do anything abt it. Not tt i can do anything even if i did. In the end i can only leave it at tt, and hope tt time heals everything else, which it usually does. I thot i was nv gonna get over the previous one, but i still did. But tt was bcoz we din really get to see each other tt often any more... This one's here to stay for the nxt one year man.

But dun worry, i'm fine. I really am. I'm not sure if its bcoz the intense pain the previous one made me go thru, but i guess it doesnt matter. I'm kinda glad i din really let it progress too far.. As well as having my work here in hall provide a source of distraction from it, or else i'll really see myself as a pitiful nut, like i was one year plus ago.

Oh wells, like i said earlier, life's gotta go on. Juz be glad things din really get too ugly, and tt we're still on such good terms. This will be kept as it is, if possible i wun need to let the other party noe such feeling existed. The both of us wld nv haf really gone v far to begin with. I cld even laugh at myself, seeing how naive i was. Looking on the bright side, this wld save me the trouble of planning a 21st bday surprise lol. Omg i'm such a lazy pig...

And so i'm back to being bobo, which actually makes this worse. Solitude can really haunt a person down, make life so boring and miserable to live. But at this point in time, i can only hope tt i will get to see a new source of light, one which i can really put my heart and soul into and see wad i can be good for, one which really gives me a reason to live. Right now i still got work to finish, i'll slowly tink abt this when all this shit is done.

I guess tt's enuff ranting for now, if u still dunno wad's going on in my life go n bang urself in the wall or smth... no la juz kidding. So glad i still haf this space to write in haha. Alrites i'm tired.. Until nxt time, when i need to use this space for probably the same reason lols.

After all tt's said n done

2009-02-28T02:23:00.006+08:00

Y do i still feel so... alone...

Seems like nth's changed...

2008-05-23T20:35:00.006+08:00

Sometimes..

all u want is juz someone who can be arnd

to have a drink with u and listen to your problems

hopefully oso give some useful advice

but more importantly

understand how u'r feeling, wad u'r going thru

and make u feel comfortable talking abt them.

Haiz

Who can blame, but myself

for being such a jerk, to have so few frens

true frens

but its not as if i asked for it wad..

Rite?...

Dunno...

God its been so long since i've had a good drink

and i dun mean milo bing or sugarcane juice those type of drink

as in

yea u shld noe wad i mean

Juz cant help but feel

disappointed

that i've realli accomplished nth

these past few years

everyone else progressed with their lives

while i'm still unable to leave this

pit of doom

i've tried changing, changing myself, break out of the past, start over afresh

but somehow

nth's working

and it juz kills me deep inside

over and over again

damn it

Dying from...

2008-05-09T14:22:00.004+08:00

This is bad.

Usually people come to us to look for a job because they got too much time at home, they feel bored and so they need a job to kill boredom.

I come to work

And i still feel bored.

What to do sia...

2008-02-19T22:45:00.002+08:00

Yea it does feel like 2 years ago, ain't it, leaving this space untouched and losing my already sparce viewership. Haha dun worry i got no (valid) reason to go on a long hiatus anymore, n i wun be abandoning this blog anytime soon, yea u haf my word for it. This space has been proven useful, for me at least, and i wun go ditching it for stupid reasons like poor readership. I know nobody visits this space anymore, save for a thankful handful, but at this point in time i honestly dun quite care anymore.

Pple blog for different reasons, some blog to gain as much readership as possible to gain an alternative route to fame; some treat it as a diary, to pen down interesting stuff tt happen in their lives so they can laugh about it in the future; some use it as an alternative means to sending an unspoken message to certain someone (or two), usually hidden somewhere inside. For me, i treat it as an avenue to release excessive thoughts that accumulate in my mind, that unnecessarily affect my mood and cause me to go slightly mental at times. This blog has helped me regain my sanity on numerous occasions, in both good and bad sense, even though i usually always appear so normal and happy. I have my own troubles too, i'm also human, its juz that bcoz of wad i went thru in the past, some things i am not able to juz confide in others about, some things i cannot speak to others of, no matter who. N these things bottled up inside will eventually be too much for me to handle, thus i really need a place to get them all out. Without sound. This space has been useful in tt aspect.

Therefore readership doesnt mean much to me, in fact it be best if no one reads, den i can freely get those troubles out without anyone knowing too much. If tt's the case, den y dun i juz write them down on a notepad or smth and lock it away, confirm no one will find out wad rite? No, coz someone will find it somehow, esp parents, it be even more trouble if they found out n read, its not safe. N anyway i dun really like writing, i prefer typing. Damn i cant debate for nuts, my reasoning is so weak, i feel so dumb lol. Anyway i'm prepared for such situation since i decided to not touch this space for my entire time in NS, i'm talking abt the low viewership.

Arr it doesn't matter. What a whole load of rubbish i juz wrote.

Anyway here's a brief rundown of my life since i left this space. Taiwan and HKG trip rocked!! So fun going overseas with frens, see if i got the energy and money to squeeze one more in during june/july b4 school starts. I finally passed my driving, thnx goodness i dun hafta waste another $150+, but up till now the card hasn't arrived yet, its getting quite frustrating, seriously. CNY sucked this year, for me at least. I'm not referring to things like hongbao cash amts, but the general spirit of CNY has been, diminishing. Its disappointing noe, I dun feel the usual excitement tt i used to get everytime CNY comes, the only consolation is a long weekend, away from work lol. N the screwup at my uncle's hse juz rubs it in lor. Aiya wad to do, juz hope tt things dun get worse every year. N yar i juz concluded i cant gamble on CNYs, i'll juz lose big time, it happened every year.

I'm tinking of quitting my job. Yisheng's relief teaching stint sounds v fun.

well tt's all for now, i noe its been a rather shitty entry, but well, i'm feelin rather shitty now, so i guess it suits. Cya nxt time.

It has seriously been a serious waste of serious time. i cant believe i let this happen. damn

It's Finally Here

2008-01-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

The next 6 days

Will be the fastest 6 days yet

Happy New Year

2008-01-05T01:03:00.000+08:00

First up, i'd like to apologize for my previous entry, and also for leaving it as tt for such a long time. I was juz in a really bad mood tt day, seriously needed a place to vent out my frustrations, so pls forgive me for the use of abusive language. And i guess its not really nice to see tt entry as the first entry, come here first thing u see is vulgarities. Lol i really am sorry for tt.

Anyway the new year has finally arrived, and at last after 2 gruelling years in the army, i finally get to enjoy the new year without any worries abt having to cover COS or Guard 2 during public holidays lol. Esp if i were to cover duty on 31st dec, lol it be the worst thing tt can happen man, imagine having to countdown to the new year with ur DO, DOS and BOS!! Well at least tt's over, can finally revert back to the old way of it now.

Usually when new year comes, a lot of pple will haf smth called "new year resolutions". They r basically a bunch of goals set by individuals to give themselves smth to achieve and strive for in the following year. I used to set some myself, but after all these years of doing so i finally realised smth

IT'S BULLSHIT!!

Now all u fans of this "resolution" thingy dun come flaming me juz yet, hear wad i hafta say 1st k? Now juz ask urselves, honestly, how many of u, thruout the past year, have managed to achieve wadever resolution u set for urself at the end of the previous year? How many of those resolutions haf u managed to achieve? Do u even remember wad resolution u made last year? Other than the ones abt sch work, the ans to the rest of the qns u guys shld noe urselves. If u haf managed to say yes or ans any of the above qns with a

DON!!

den congrats, i got nth to say. But i daresay most of u will be searching deep within urselves and wondering y u r doing dis for. Izzit for self-satisfaction, an emotion arising from false expectations? Or r u really juz doing it coz everyone else, even Barney the great friendly soft toy, is doing so? I guess we'll onli noe it ourselves, but wadever reason it may be, i came to realise tt this resolution thingy is really a waste of my time, no matter how little it may be. So i've decided to forget abt this thing and juz let life take its course, retreat to progress, and see how things go. I noe its gd to set goals to achieve, but when nth has been achieved for the past 20 years, u realli shld juz relax and sit out this one juz once, and see wad happens.

Lol i noe its juz a bunch of crap i written up there, if u understand gd for u, if not i dun blame u, juz tt today work was juz too stressful and i juz gotta find someway to destress. Lol dun come flaming me k.

Anyway, realli looking forward to the taiwan trip, my last trip overseas with frens was really really enjoyable, so i'll be expecting a lot from this one, since i spent so much money on it. Juz hope tt nth screws up this time. Its time i go, so until the next time, may u guyz haf a happy new year.

May U haf a happy new year =)

mood swing

2007-12-27T00:45:00.000+08:00

Juz fuck off and get out of my life.

no.

maybe i shld be the one to fuck off.

I found this at my hse downstairs

2007-12-13T22:59:00.000+08:00

Lol cute rite? I'm not sure if anyone was keeping it as a pet, when i found it was all alone, so i concluded that it was stray. U dun get to see many stray rabbits in Singapore these days lol. And in case u r wondering, no i din take it home, coz i was in a hurry when i found it, so i din haf the time to take it back home. When i came back it disappeared, cldnt find it. lol

Anyway i juz concluded that my left leg is realli cursed. Ever since BPCC last year, when i got a superficial wound on my shin from falling into the drain, which evolved into a nasty infection. Then a wart on the sole of my left foot since the sentosa trip last december, which evolved into a big bad blister covering half my foot. Then my fracture in july, which kept me out of action for 3 months liddat, and juz now, 2 hours ago, i discovered tt e sole of my left foot developed a

PIMPLE

N i was like, wtf wtf wtfzomg!!! How come even feet oso got pimple one!! i thot pimples onli grew on faces. N its right at the pressure pt of the sole, so its like i feel it whenever i walk. WAD THE S**T!!! N its on my left leg. -.- how come its always my left leg got such problem one. I realli feel like juz chopping it off and end its misery for the rest of my life. If not who knows wad might come out of it nxt, maybe it'll turn into a hammerhead or smth.

Ydt went for the My Chemical Romance concert at the Expo MAx Pavilion and there is only one word to describe it.

AWESOME!!

Yea it rocked. Totally. Lol absolutely worth my $87.00. Altho i preferred the LP one, maybe bcoz i knew more songs from there, but this one was way cool too. And there is also onli one word to describe the Max Pavilion

COLD

It was freaking freezing inside, i was like shivering like a leaf when i entered the structure. N i kept shivering until the show started. Of cuz during the show andy n i were like jumping like monkeys and we were like sweating after the whole thing. N i was totally shagged out, like i juz ran 2.4 liddat. lol but it realli was hell of an experience.

Once again, due to the distance from where i was standing, the lighting and my camera hp, the quality of pictures i was able to get was only as such. Cannot realli see much, i admit and apologize. But oh well, i tried. I hope they cld at least give u all a picture of how it was like inside. Oh n they said they r coming back nxt year, i dunno how true izzit, so MCR fans keep a lookout for them.

Tt's all for now, will be back soon, but not so soon, since i'm working now n only haf time at night. Oh yah take this time to advertise. Anyone looking for a temp admin job, msg me or come find me on msn. Till nxt time!!

we need to talk. Again. seriously

Condolences

2007-11-29T23:25:00.000+08:00

To all who have lost a relative or fren due to whatever reason this past 2 weeks.

Pple r dying everywhere. choi choi shldnt haf said it tt way.. Anyways i recently got to know of the deaths of 2 pple whom i knew, altho i wasn't very close to them but their sudden departure from this world came as quite a shock to me. 1 of them is Wei Cheng, a fren of mine from RV who passed away from the recent dragon boat incident; the other is my eldest sister's mother-in-law.

I knew Wei Cheng all the way from sec 2, thru a close fren of mine from his clas called Ben Fong. At tt time i used to hang arnd with ben all the time, so i got to know a few of his classmates, and Wei cheng was one of them. He and I got along pretty well, altho i nv got a chance to know him v well, but we were on good terms w each other. When i read the sunday newpaper article on the dragonboat incident and saw his name, i din believe tt it was the Wei Cheng i knew who went missing, until i saw his picture and my fren confirmed tt the guy was an ex-Rvian, den i got a shock. My condolences to his family and all his frens from RV, altho i cldnt find time to attend his wake, memories of him will always be in my heart.

I juz came back from helping out at my sister's mother-in-law's funeral. She died last week from a terminal illness, i'm not v sure wad it was, but i knew from my parents' description tt her last moments were, quite painful. During her stay in the hospital, she suffered from lack of appetite, severe short term memory, like arnd 30sec den she wld repeat wad she juz said, and she vv weak. I nv really interacted much with her since my sister got married, only a few times when i went up to visit her with my sister when i was much younger, and at tt time she wld give me a lot of mcdonald's happy meal toys coz she used to work at mcdonalds. Now come to think of it, its quite sad tt she passed away juz liddat.

Everyone pls cherish ur life and ur loved ones around u, dun give urself a reason to regret not doing so when they leave.

Back to basics

2007-11-15T23:20:00.000+08:00

Elloz!! I'm finally back here blogging again after a v long 1 year 10 mth hiatus. I dun tink anyone will expect this blog to be revived again, so i dun realli reckon tt anyone will be reading this, but if there *hopefully* happens to be a few souls still reading this, i'm v sorry for going on a hiatus and not touching this space for a long time. NS took its toll on me and i havent had the time and energy to blog abt anything thru out my entire time in the army.

yea rite kyo. stop giving excuses for ur own laziness

Anyway my time in the army has given me quite an experience. There had been both good times and bad, but NS has led me to noe a lot abt myself which i had nv realised b4, and oso some answers as to y i have become the person i am today. Hopefully these will guide me to becoming a better person and making my life better as well.

A brief run thru of my entire army life. BMT, was acherlli one of my more enjoyable times in the army, realli. Maybe its juz being in Bronco tt my life was reasonable better off than some other companies, but during BMT i made a lot of gd frens whom i still do keep in touch with till today. Life then was quite hard, but as compared to wad followed, i can say tt i will miss my BMT times.

Den came SISPEC. Life there totally sucked. To the core. Acherlli it wldn't haf been tt bad, if fact it wld haf been as memorable as my BMT, but it got all ruined by my PS, tt bloody asshole. Tinking abt it juz makes my blood boil. He was one hell of a bastard. yea u get the drift, i shall not continue abt him.

My time in ETI was short, but it was heavenly. Honestly, it was the best times i had in my entire army life. I can rmb coming back to bunk from breakfast and we were supposed to do area cleaning, but everyone will juz say gd nite, and juz slp until like 10 min b4 standby, do a quick sweep of the floor and get rdy for standby. N still be able to pass lol. ETI rox man. Altho i noe the engineer officers will beg to differ, but it aint the case for the specs yea. lol

Den i got posted to bridging and the course we had to go thru, BPCC (Bridging Pioneer Commander Course) was a drop down to hell after ETI sia. Life there was the toughest thru out NS. Almost everyday i reach back to bunk at like, 1.30 am after the day's activities, and after showering and stuff, slp at 2.30am. N wake up at 5 am for nxt day's activities. Plus the senior instructors r the most f**ked up bunch of warrant officers i haf ever seen. Seriously, i totally dreaded the times in BPCC, esp when we were at gedong. Every morning convoy movement to Sarimbun reservoir, and convoy movement back from the reservoir after the day's lesson. It was hell sia.

Den life took another drastic change when i got posted to 35 SCE alpha coy. Since den life was pretty much smooth sailing all the way, save a few ups and downs here and there, like when my company took in the BMT mono intake, den i get to become the instructor and tekan recruits lol. Den came NDP, preparations began all the way as early as january this year, and after april i became fully involved in it as part of the show backstage commitee. N den i fractured my leg. -.-'" All my hard work put into the ndp preparations and rehearsals all wasted by tt one fall. I cldnt enjoy the atmosphere at the actual ndp performance, cldnt see the live fireworks and cldnt get the goodie bag. N i had to live with a cast for 2 months. tt sucked. well i'm pretty much recovered now but yea, tt was one of the major episodes in my army life.

Since i orded last last tuesday, life has been pretty dull acherlli. Everyday now is like i wake up, watch abit of tv, go for lunch, play until dinner, bathe den play until slp. pretty routine if u ask me. At least i get to enjoy the freedom which u dun haf in the army, tt's the most impt part. But liddat staying at home and playing dota everyday, is juz not v good for me sia. U gotta go out and enjoy the civilian life u've been yearning to have when in the army. So i did tt.

N went to the Linkin Park concert with Andy on tuesday!! lol

The last time i went to a concert was the red hot chili peppers one when i was sec 3, i tink. Tt one was awesome, but this one rocked juz as much sia. It was amazing. They sang songs from their latest album, as well as almost all their previous works, all the known songs from both Hybrid Theory and Meteora. The atmosphere was v high tt night and i really enjoyed myself sia. Altho they said no photography was allowed, but i managed to take some pictures in there. i took with my camera phone, so the quality is not tt gd, esp with the lighting in there, and at where i was standing, its not quite possible to get a close up on the band, too far liao.

Concerts r so fun, tink i'll be going for more concerts from now on sia. Looking forward to the My Chemical Romance gig in dec, i going for tt one too lol.

Ok la, wrote quite a lot here le, bet u all read until damn bored. N my current layout doesnt compliment with long entries, its bad for the eyes lol. Tink i'll change this layout soon, prob to smth more reader friendly. Till nxt time, see ya.

Its an anagram, in case u all dunno lol.

ORD LO!!

2007-11-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

ORD LO !!

with my rifle n my buddy n me~...

2006-01-06T14:36:00.000+08:00

i guess every guy with a blog who's going in army arnd this time will be doing this, so i shldnt slack on this for once. O yes, time passes real quick, and now its my turn to be botak and go in for the beefing up. I've heard a lot of things about tekong, some say life there is tough, some say training is fun, some say leh some say la, and all sorts of things i hear b4, budden i'll still hafta go in and experience them myself. Sure, these stories do give me a picture of wad to expect, bud i cant back out after hearing them wad rite. I'm prepared mentally for it liaoz, er physically hafta go there and train lor... o wells, juz treat it as a chance to get to know more pple, to experience a different form of life...i juz hope these 2 years pass as quickly as the last 2... tml is the day, and its juz my luck tt i gotta report at 8.30 in the morning, means i hafta leave home at 6+ liaoz... kaoz..

I promised to tok abit abt my bintan trip, so here's a brief summary. Bintan was fun!!! Esp when u r going with frens and no adults to restrict ur every movement, juz do wad we wan to do and buy wad we want to buy. We, the 7 of us, were acherlli on a tour package, and our accomodation was at a resort, which looked quite ok from the brochures. Turned out tt our resort was in the middle of nowhere, and altho it covered quite a large area of land, we hafta trek quite a long distance to get from one facility to another. First day we wanted to go their beach and play in the sea, so we took their shuttle bus to their beach... Turned out their beach was not a beach at all... more like some breakwater lolx.. bud we took a speed boat to a nearby island where the water was much cleaner and there was a beach, and we had the whole island to ourselves. So we swam arnd until dinner time, took the boat back and washed up. 2nd day we followed the group to go their city there to do some shopping. The guys din buy much, we basically spent our time playing arnd and taking photos lolx.. the gers bought hell lot tho. And their things are really v cheap... Den got one auntie ask me if i acted in mediacorp b4, coz she say i look like some actor in tong xin yuan... -.-'" Den at night the gers played a bit of mahjong, ended up the guys played and the gers slacked back at their rooms. Overall the trip was v fun, o and the pple there are VVVVV nice and friendly, the food was damn shiok as well, the seafood lunch rocked la. Got chance i dun mind going back again sia...

To everyone out there, hope tt 2006 will bring a year full of new surprises and happenings in a positive way, those who are going army enjoy ur time in camp, to those who are not oso enjoy urselves and embrace the new year with an optimistic mind... er din sound rite bud yar u all noe wad i mean. To those who haf found jobs, hope u all haf fun working and enjoy wad u r doing yar, and to those who are still studying, do treasure the time u haf with ur frens and classmates yar. Forget all grudges or unhappy stuff u might haf had or experienced in the past. Happy 2006 everyone!!!

U've been a great part of my life and i do thank you for tt. I'm v glad to become one of ur close frens and haf been able to make u smile every now and then. Tt thot alone is enuff to make me happy. Times may have been dark for us during j1, but having the chance to be there for u during tt time was one of the best things tt could happen to me. Altho we werent as close in j2, i noe u were in the company of gd frens who were able to make u as happy, if not happier. I nv had the courage to tell u how i feel, bcoz of wad i experienced in the past, bud knowing u was wad kept me going for the past 2 years, and now we r entering a different phase in our lives, i wish u all the best in wadever u do. Have a great year ahead.

dragging and dragging

2005-12-25T22:40:00.000+08:00

i was reading the previous entries in my blog juz now, reading the few entries tt i haf. It's acherlli quite fun u noe, to look back upon the old times and reminisce abt wad happened back then... altho some of them are not v happy, bud still u get a sense of nostalgia and its... quite fun. Den i came upon one of my old entries tt i felt was one of my better "works" and i er... felt quite impressed with it. Lolx i noe v bhb bud yar... its nice looking back at these things...

This entry was back in Sep 2005, onli a few months back la... here it is:

Some thoughts haf been straying in my mind for the past few months. Juz now, i went back into my depressed state, which occurs every once in a while, and den these thoughts juz kept affecting me. If i dun get some of them down they'll juz keep bugging me, so i was tinking maybe juz get them down den go back and mug or smth...

Every week i look foward to wednesdays and endure thru mondaes and tuesdaes... not juz bcoz they dun taste as gd as the sundaes frm swensons, bud wednesdays got firstly PE, secondly one lecture in sch onli, den one and half hours of free time to slack and tok abt stuff during civics, den there's charmed and cartoons at night and dis drama serial on channel u at 7.30pm called qing2 ding4 ai4 qing2 hai3, i dunno the english name. The cartoons and drama acherlli thurs and fri oso got, bud bcoz wed is start of the week for these, so look foward to wed. Anyway my main pt is not the wed part. Its the drama part.

This show, Qing2 Ding4 Ai4 Qing2 Hai3, i shall call it QDAQH for short, has gotten my mother all hooked onto it and i personally tink its a v nice show. Not juz bcoz the lead actress is pretty, bud oso i feel i can sort of click well with the characters and the way they interact, as in i fully understand how they feel and y they do the things they do, or say the tings they say. Honestly not many shows haf been able to make me feel liddat b4, maybe bcoz i experienced b4 wad some of the characters in the story go thru, den it juz makes me all melancholic and reflective over myself... Oso bcoz there r a lot of things abt life tt u can learn frm this show, and i haf been tinking abt some of the things they toked abt these few weeks...

Do wad u tink is rite, not wad others tink is rite for u. Pple often say we r the masters of our own life, therefore we control our own destiny. Maybe tt's y some pple dun believe in this thing called Fate. Bud i tink both sides are true and i partially believe in fate, while believing in controlling my own life as well. Sometimes u do things for a certain cause, bud sometimes ur actions will be affected by others, wad others say to u and the advices they give. Such advices may work well for certain pple, bud as of biology, there are always exceptions, bcoz some things in life u can nv be able to predict correctly, like pple's behaviour and reactions to certain stuff. Thus there will be different outcomes for pple taking the same advice. In the end the person tt screwed up bcoz he took tt advice will blame the 'advisor' for giving such a stupid idea and ruining his life. Advices onli do so much as to give u options on wad to do. Therefore the best thing to do is to judge for urself wad u shld do, rely on ur intuition to do the rite thing, however wrong it may be.. Coz tt's when u truly experience and learn for urself how to do it rite, and ur intuitive powers bcome more, correct. Tt's when u r truly in control of ur own life.

hmmm.... nvm lets carry on.

The show mentioned something abt frenship and love being mutually exclusive. Feelings of attraction can onli go so far btwn close frens, bud wun go further to the pt of relationship. Even if it does, the relationship wun last, and the couple realises they'r better off as frens. This oso seems to be the case from wad i observe in daily life, tho i wun cite specific examples. Budden i vaguely rmb sum1 saying tt most relationships arise due to frenship... er maybe they dun refer to long term frenship? hmm... Anyway the pt i'm trying to drive at is tt frenship shldnt be confused with love. If u'r meant to be frens den the 2 of u will forever remain frens, bud if u'r meant to be a couple den the mutual attraction shld start at quite an early stage. If there r examples to counter dis statement, plz fill me in on it... oh and dis paragraph izznt directed to anyone hor... its juz a thot tt wld like to share..

Prelims r arnd the corner, esp GP, in juz a few weeks time. Not as if i juz wrote some sort of essay la, dis doesnt count, bud its gd to get some practice here and dere...

Juz now when i was watching the show the ideas juz kept pouring in, bud now at 12 smth i tink i forgot most of them liaoz... shld haf written them down as i watched, den it wld realli haf bcame essay... maybe i shld do tt next time... tt'll be fun...

Tml got chem test and i still havent found my reaction kinetics notes. So dead. Aiya nvm... see how tml la.. and still got AQ to finish.. zzz *end*

er... the last para a bit redundant, i juz ctrl c ctrl v everything... bud looking back at this entry i felt tt it awoken me, reminded me of certain things... well hafta get a grip liaoz, NS round the corner le... cannot be thinking too much abt such stuff...

oh tml gng bintan with 6h pple, altho less than 10 of us going, bud still its going abroad with frens... guess it shld be fun... shall blog abt it when i return...

i'm juz glad tt we were able to make u truly happy for a day... its all tt matters to me...

And still not done yet...

2005-12-10T12:55:00.000+08:00

haha quite a few things happening over the past 2 weeks, bud i v lazy to write them down. Acherlli now i still abit lazy, bud now quite nth to do le, might as well.

Shall start with prom nite first. Ok i noe its been quite a long time since bud this is one of the things tt muz get down de, my first and possibly last prom nite in my life, dunno if uni got prom nites anot... Anywayz after A's we were left with arnd one week or so to get our prom stuff ready, so it was quite a rush la. Went town tt saturday with jim haoz and xianlun hoping to get the clothes bud ended up wasting our entire afternoon squeezing in an MPV with strangers... horrible experience. We saw a coat which caught our eye, and the 4 us wanted to wear tt for prom, bud 4 pple wearing the same coat is like quite gay la... in the end the size tt we wanted was out of stock in juz days, so i had to settle for a similar coat. Tt day itself went to get my hair cut and styled, and my hair was finally straight!!! lolx.. too bad it wun last long de... Anyway prom itself was not bad, food was ok la, din expect it to be tt gd, from wad i heard b4, bud the arrangement was nt bad. Commendable effort by the council i shld say, the thing was v well-prepared. Took a lot of pictures, bud abt half of them the pics v blur, aiya camera phone, cannot expect much, budden its a v ex camera phone leh, i paid for the camera one leh... bud it was a gd experiance la. Wad followed after tt was not. The guys wanted to book a hotel room, bud the price was $390 a nite, friggin ex, and getting a room at tt time is impossible liaoz, no more rooms, so we decided to go RELC get a budget room. Den when we reach there, things got complicated, so we din get the room. In the end we camped at nearby 24-hr macs for the nite, and at 3 smth i decided to juz get a cab home. Wad a nite.

Monday, went to town with grace, her sister and the usual guys xcept xianlun who was in m'sia, to go watch movie. Wanted to watch juz like heaven, bud in the end settled for chicken little. V hilarious movie, and the fish v cute haha. Then walked arnd cine, walked to ps and walked arnd until dinner time. Basically i covered the whole of orchard within these few days la, and i feel after u walk finish orchard once, there's nth much to do there liaoz. Get sick of orchard v quickly. Dun understand how pple can walk along the whole stretch of orchard and back and not get bored...

Tuesday went to buy the necessary food and stuffs for S04 chalet, den went to haoz's hse to play mahjong. Played all the way from arnd 4 smth to 3.30 am, of cuz with breaks in between, and had zhi cha for dinner. Wah i havent had zhi cha in dunno how many years liaoz, ever since the zhi cha stall at my hse hawker centre here closed down. V shiok. Thnx wenhao and family!! Den at 3 smth in the morning we opened a bottle of red wine, and drank more than one glass of wine each. At first it was v shiok, bud towards the end i buay tahan liaoz... Slept at arnd 5 smth until next day 12 noon. not bad sia.

S04 chalet on wednesday!!! got ready and took a cab from haoz's hse to Costa Sands Resort at east coast there. Then while we were walking to macs for lunch, some guy offering bikes for rent gave us a deal for overnight rental of bikes, $15 for bikes with suspension for 2 days 2 nights, and said this was best deal arnd tt area liaoz. When we walked back after our lunch we were approached by another person, offering $10 for bikes with suspension for 2 days 2 nights. -.-'" Lolx in the end we took the $10 ones after a bit of discussion, bcoz we needed bikes onli on the 2nd night. Anyways went back slacked a bit, den got ready for the bbq. The bbq was not bad acherlli, got the fires up v quickly and v nicely as well, thnx to guanwen and xianlun. The food was quite nice too, juz tt we faced usual problem of food being undercooked lolx. The teachers were here too, ms yee and ms aw. Hope they enjoyed their time with us. Played cards after the bbq until 3.30 am again for the man utd match. Was very disappointed with their performance, lost 2-1 and got kicked out of champions league... Haiz... Tried to sleep bud couldn't after the match, den juz sat there with eyes closed until next morning, feeling v groggy. Wonder if i shld haf gone for the walk. hmm... Later in the morning went to the beach to play volleyball, was v fun and it got me back to my normal state again, bud the sun was v hot. Den in the afternoon some of them went to slp up in the bedroom, i wanted to slp too, bcoz i had contacts on and was lazy to go remove them, so i juz sat at the floor and dozed off liddat.

Evening tt time we went to play their so-called "dirty games" which haoz sock ruifen and grace were discussing in private abt thru out the entire chalet. It was acherlli juz zhong ji mi ma, juz tt the forfeit was to burst a balloon filled with flour on the victim. Den everyone was splashed with water as the game progressed, and eventually everyone did get covered in flour. Den as a birthday treat for jim, the rest of us sprayed whipped cream on paper plates and juz piaked onto him. Haha. Happy Birthday Jim!!! And thnx to sock ruifen grace and wenhao for organising the games. After dinner grace went home, which meant tt she couldnt join us for the night-cycling, which was quite sad bcoz she realli wanted to cycle de. So the 4 of us jim haoz seng and i went for the journey. We cycled towards changi there, past bedok jetty, thru some v dark path, and onto a straight road tt was parallel to the airport runway. I tell u tt dark path was really pitch black, and given my condition of night blindness, the 3 red blinking backlights were all i could see nia. And the runway is seriously damn bloody long. We took 20 min to cover the entire stretch from the initial bend to the final bend in the road, cycling at a relatively high speed. Took us an hour to get to changi village, rested for a while there and drinking teh tarik, b4 cycling back. When we reached the chalet we were like so shagged we juz stoned out at the table there, played 3 rounds of cards while cooling down den went up to slp. Came home onli yesteday afternoon, which i slpt all the way from 2 smth to 7. Bud i seriously had a lot of fun during the chalet. Hope we can get to meet up again some time in the future yar.

Oh ya one more thing, we heard a song played on radio, found it v cute and laughed all the way thruout the song. Den i saw the song this morning on kids central and its called "Shnappi the Little Crocodile", which was initally sang by a 4 year old german kid, den his family juz recorded the song and posted it on some website, and the song juz circulated liddat. Anyone got tt song can send it to me plz, thnx. Lolx.

And i still havent had the chance to talk to you in private. Maybe i nv will, maybe the chance will nv come, bud maybe it has come and gone, and i was stupid enuff to let it slip. I onli haf less than a month left to clear things up with u, and though i noe it's bound to happen, i seriously dun wan it to end with juz memories.

Ah yes...

2005-11-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

I smell the freedom at last. Bud altho still got one more paper, the holiday mood has already taken over, and i dun care liaoz. Its juz one more paper... bud it had to be three days later -.-'" so therefore A's has more or less ended for me liaoz. I noe got quite some pple celebrated a few days ago, bud its ok, we chance will come sooner or later, and i decided to bring it foward. Can't stand it liaoz la, got vv sian of exams liaoz...

And den now tt i dun hafta study for the time being, from now till 7th jan when i go into army, i gotta tink abt how to spend my time liaoz. Den as of all my previous holidays, i will get the same feeling... sian. At home la at least. Bcoz other than being in front of com playing, there's nth much i can do at home... i dun read books, tv doesnt interest me tt much, not much food at home to eat, not v gd with kids... so its either play com or slp, and i dun like slping in the day... Of cuz i wun be at home thru out the hols, i tink arnd 2/5 of the hols i'll be out with frens... bud still the sian feeling will juz be there, coz basically what used to be the time used for mugging is now free time liaoz... which is a lot of time a day... dunno whether its gd or bad...

Well at least there's still maple to play, for a com with lousy graphix card like mine, there's not much other games i can play... hafta chiong to lv 70 by jan nxt year... so tt juz nice retire my character while i in NS and wait for 3rd job to come out... corn going to lv 71 le la... tt guy's crazy la..

i muz look thru almanac and choose an auspicious day and hour to burn all the notes tt are floating everywhere in my room, juz makes it look like a junkyard... textbooks and tys maybe can give away, i dunno... bud the notes can burn liaoz la... too bad dun haf shredder machines, like the ones in offices... a lot more environment friendly, and quite fun too...

Today after Maths S (dun tok abt it) went with the usual guys to cmpb to extend the validity of our passports. Altho i not sure if i going abroad during the hols, bud since my passport expired like 2 years ago, might as well extend with them. And den the lady helping us extend validity was quite friendly to us, can joke arnd with us summore, and her colleagues oso join in the fun nia... den we wanted to go cine, bcoz someone was going cine to watch harry potter, which we were planning to watch too... lolx heh heh... den dunno y we settled for tiong bahru plaza in the end...

The movie was very cool, if considering as a movie itself, bud content-wise ar i felt it wasn't enuff... felt as tho they were trying to rush the entire bk 4 in 2.5 hrs... den they left out a lot of details... as in really a lot of details left out.. at first when i heard frm pple tt the movie was not tt gd bcoz of lack of details i thot, movie mar, shld haf a bit of difference de... now i noe tt so much details left out... no wonder u all dun like... my sister din like it too... bud the female leads quite eye catching: the actress playing Fleur Delacour, great body nia... esp the 2nd task part when she in her swimsuit... woot~ hot... Katie Leung, playing Cho Chang, looks quite cute in the movie, bud her pics in newpapers she not tt cute liaoz... And Emma Watson, wa the Yule Ball scene, v nice in tt dress, and i din noe her shen cai tt gd nia... I tink i enjoy the eye candy more than the story plot nia... lolx

Yes after this a lot of catching up to do, on a lot of different things... shld start planning liaoz... haf onli a bit more than one month to go... how things will turn out for me during this period of time will depend on me, and how much effort i put in. I seriously dun wan disappoint myself this time, like i did b4...

i tink i need some time to speak with u, bcoz i got a lot things to ask, and to say... i guess i've waited long enuff...

end of (sch) days...

2005-10-10T18:20:00.000+08:00

well well, one more week and one more day and it'll be the end of sch for me... and the other j2's of cuz... as in the end of official lessons, bud i may still need to go back to sch... maybe to mug or see if the teachers wan see me... results too suck liaoz la... i tink i realli need to go back for remedial... A lvls liaoz... cannot play play ar... lolx..

Budden i realise i'm still playing... as in realli slacking as usual... the no. of hours i spend playing realli outnumber the hours i spend mugging... this cannot happen... to quote some guy from the maple forums who flunked Alvls bcoz of maple : "Plz concentrate on ur studies before even thinking of maple. Maple can wait, society cannot." He redid JC for another 2 years to get better grades for A's. Now we all dun wan tt to happen to all of us rite, so to those who r still "enjoying life", which includes myself, GO DO SOME WORK!! SLACKERS!!!

Today is juz like any other monday, until the second part of the day. J2's were suppose to meet in the hall to verify the CCA records and CIP records. When i received those 2 pieces of paper (acherlli is 3, one was second page), I, and i tink almost everyone else, saw how screwed up the system in our sch is. The records are all screwed up. There were like so much extra hours in my CIP records, and so many missing stuff from the CCA record. I can like get points for acheivement, and yet get nil for representation. It juz doesnt make sense la. I hope the sch seriously does smth abt it sia, altho i noe i'm not the onli one having such problems.

After sch went with xianlun jim haoz and seng to serene macs for lunch, coz jim wanted to eat macs and xianlun had to be back in sch for chem s... and when we went there we saw the whole macs was packed with CJC pple... den Seng said there's a guy who look like Jack Neo outside using a notebook... den jim and i went to check it out and found out tt it was acherlli Jack Neo himself! Den thru out the entire lunch session we were like sort of toking abt him and crapping. After a while he came in and sat 3 tables away from us, and we sorta tried to take a sneak shot of him using my cam phone.

Den after a while, Chen Liping came in, with her son. And we saw the 2 of them acknowledge each other, and den like almost everyone in macs was toking abt the 2 celebrities in tt small aircon rm. And Chen Liping's face looks quite blemished...

er looks a bit fake but its not, dun believe can ask the other 4... er camera the shutter a bit slow, so she a bit off-centre. Bud realli, its not everyday tt u get to see mediacorp celebs walking arnd... bud bcoz serene macs here is quite near to caldecott broadcast centre, so the probability density maybe a tad higher than other places, i dunno...

arr speaking of stats tml got stats test... hafta go mug liaoz... sian..

peeling like a potato

2005-09-30T11:26:00.000+08:00

haha this entry is one day late... ydt after came back was too tired to blog la... tho i played a bit more b4 slping... hehe... bud yes ydt was damn shiok and vvv fun... definitely a day to rmb. Havent experienced such relaxation and fun since, er... the chalet marathon a few years back? Bud nonetheless, i'm realli glad to haf such an enthu class, almost the whole class came, and glad tt everyone had fun ydt. SO4 ROX!!!!! YAY!!!!

ok lets see... reached habourfront station late as usual, and i alighted the bus to find rizal alighting from the bus in front, late as well... lolx... den we reached the station control there found a lot of pple in small groups, bud couldnt find our class de pple... den saw them coming down, and our groups was like the biggest in the station... lolx... anyway, we set off for sentosa and decided to go tanjong beach when we reached there... firstly because tanjong beach quite ulu, shld haf less pple than the other beaches... secondly we saw tt there was some family day going on tt day, and it was at one of the beaches... so yar we arrived at tanjong beach and saw tt a volleyball net was set up liaoz, so we all got excited and got ready for the sun sand and sea!! And yes, the weather was excellent on tt day, a lot of sun for us guys to get the tan...

after a while, we decided to take a break and some of them wanted to swim, so we entered the sea. I initially din want to get wet de, den i saw almost everyone is in the water, den i aiya juz chiong in la... the volleyball we used earlier on was lent to some older guys who were waiting to use the volleyball net bud din haf any volleyball, and while we were happily swimming in the sea, there was this sudden BANG. And when we turned over we saw the ball juz burst liddat... den someone suggested we play monkey in the sea with the burst ball, and some conspiracy brewed and it somehow succeeded in the end, bud the effect we wanted wasn't quite there... lolx... nvm. We came up to shore for lunch, den continued playing and getting more tan in the sun...

Took a few pictures with my newly bought cam phone... the pic quality is quite gd, as compared to other cam phones...

taking photos of one another...

haha jim...

mad n maisha..

a little crab tt was washed up onto e shore...

come lets form a circle...

Seng gana planted...

haoz with a hot bod... ooo...

arnd late afternoon, pple got tired le, so we washed up, showered, and den we went on to try sentosa's new attraction, the Luge™... it's juz this go-kart thingy where u sit on it, and juz let gravity do its job... no engine involved, the acceleration juz comes from gravity, so a few of the guys tried it and we zoomed down the course, and b4 we noe it the ride is over... so fast lor, liddat den end le... den took the slow chair lift back up... i tink of the $8 we paid, $3 is for the actual ride, and $5 for the view on the chair lift... which was quite nice acherlli, get to see the beautiful skyline of SG... lolx..

haoz aaron xianlun and boss on the 2nd chair...

Guanwen and Rizal...

the Luge™ ride seen from above...

3 guesses where this is..

er... some island la...

yes carlsberg rox..

the camera on my phone is power rite... lolx... after the luge we came back to harbourfront centre to makan dinner... den walk walk abit b4 going home... and when i came home i realised how thoroughly cooked the upper part of my torso is... the rings of peeled skin is damn gross... and at night is cannot slp at all, bcoz the shoulder part is damn pain...so i had to sleep face down... sian i hope this torture wears off soon... bud still its a small price to pay for the ultimate day at sentosa nia... hope to haf more of such days after A's... n yes, muz haf chalet!!! tt will be even better... lolx..

haiz...

K750i

2005-09-26T22:24:00.000+08:00

*click*

And dragging ur mouse. Or u Ctrl A-ed. I dunno. This piece of empty space does look suspicious yar... lolx... bud yar with everyone playing godtower, thot i'd juz try smth like this... haha... dun worry its onli for this entry...

Oh yes!!!! The long awaited day is here. Prelim's are finally over~... Yes been tinking abt this day since the start of prelims, and at the blink of the eye it's over. Acherlli in my mind, prelims were over last fri le, i really din wan to give a damn abt physix s... budden there r always parents arnd, to make sure u onli enjoy when EVERYTING is over... -.- if so tt means i can onli enjoy after A's... dowan la, at least play for these few days or weeks, den muz pia harder liaoz...

Today's paper i got absolutely no comments abt it. Acherlli by saying so i'm commenting abt it liaoz, bud i dun care la, i'm juz used to using this phrase for such situations...

Back track 2 days ago: Sat, I was out the whole day. Thot maybe morning go out den can come home slack play abit of maple... bud ended up i was out the whole day, er except for the 1 hr in the afternoon where i came back juz to bathe... Anyway in e morning i missed this weeks pokemon juz to go cck there to swim. Its been like, i dunno, 2 years+? since i last went to a public pool to swim, maybe 3 years? aiya anyway reached cck at 11 sharp at cck interchange. Den i realised, first time in my life i'm punctual for an outing lolx... ok la maybe exaggerating a bit... arrive at cck stadium the pool, and realised the place quite big, and v nice. Got tt big big slide. If i not wrong lakeside the pool there got 3 big big slides, wild wild wet got a lot of big big slides... Lucky the sun tt day was shining quite brightly, managed to get some tan, bud i tink on thurs will get more ^^... And the wave pool the wave v strong, can get seasick de... And the slide is realli v fun... swam all the way till 2 pm i tink, den went lot 1 haf lunch den rushed all the way to kallang bahru there.

According to my mother, tt day was Kong Zi Dan, or Confucius's bdae... so i went with my mother to kallang bahru there to "celebrate"... acherlli is juz go there burn some incense paper, receive some blessings den done liaoz... Came back, slacked arnd for an hour or so, den went out again to meet honda tham n andy... and played till 11+ pm... so yar, whole day spent outside...

Tml receive back prelim results le... Honestly speaking, i noe i will do quite badly, esp FM... sian fm... bud no use running, i'll still get it sooner or later... juz hafta enjoy the remaining time, b4 i devote the time to the TYS... acherlli hor i havent revised using tys yet leh... and govin has finished his tys's liaoz, and he complaining nth to revise... haiz...

I dreamt of u last night. Again. Bud this time u were crying, and all i cld do was lend u my shoulder to cry on... I hope dis wun happen in real life, coz i dun wish for u to be sad... Bud in any case, i juz wan u to noe, i'll always be here for u...

prelims ending

2005-09-22T20:52:00.000+08:00

By a certain demand, i decided to update my blog. Honestly la, other than its nearing end of prelims and tt our class went out to heeren's nydc for lunch yesterday, there's nth much for me to blog abt. Bud bcoz a lot of blogs from other pple all mention abt these things liaoz, so its like there's nth new for me to tok abt. And my life is too boring for me to blog abt anyting these few days. So sad. Aiya nvm, try to crap out smth... Lolx i sound as if i being forced to blog liddat... haha..

Suddenly like everyone is playing godtower. Its very similar to notpron which i tried like a few months ago, and gave up at lvl 10+, or lvl 1X in maple terms lolx, bcoz it was too demanding to solve lvls. And mad says godtower is much simpler. Er hmm... ok la the first few lvls are definitely much simpler than the notpron first few lvls, however they are bud the first few lvls... after tt the difficulty is pretty much the same, maybe a bit less... i dunno... i nv got to the lvl 2X in notpron b4... I juz passed lv 24 ydt, and i'm struggling liaoz... haiz...

oh i juz passed lv 25... lolx...

Ydt after i came back from orchard i played the whole day... as in the whole day, like its after A's liaoz... oh ya btw nydc rocked, juz tt i din feel tt hungry, bud it still rocked. Den today again i played the whole day... ok la tried to do the past year Maths S prelim papers... bud gave up after 5 qns... Sian i dunno how to survive tml's paper... Juz hand in a blank piece of paper...

aiya shall go back to see if i can do the qns... starting to feel guilty liaoz...

And still no progress... i shld juz give up la...

u learn new things everyday...

2005-09-13T23:27:00.000+08:00

eh cannot la... These few days i been sleeping quite late, er.. late as in its considered late bcoz its exam period for me. Its like arnd 1.30+ am den i fall asleep... Burning midnight oil wun work, i noe, bud all the time is i complete my revision le den i realise its 12 smth 1am liaoz... and den i dun feel sleepy at all. Sumtimes its bcoz i playing maple... oops... bud tt's onli on certain occasions... Den i'll like toss and turn in bed for 1/2 to 1hr liddat, hoping tt i'll sleep, and end up i get like 4-5 hrs slp b4 the paper. Like today lor, wake up feeling giddy, puked a bit of acid out, den come sch with eyes half open, mind groggy groggy de... not a gd feeling. Bud i was still relatively awake during the paper la, maybe its the aircon... Yar to everyone out there, do get ur good night's rest b4 each paper(s) for the day.

One more thing i've learnt to do during exams, maybe some of u r doing it already, bud juz take it as a tip... For structured or essay qns papers, always take abt 1 min off the time at the start to look thru the qns in the qn paper, take note of the qns tt r simple or u r confident abt doing, and juz do these qns first. Dun hafta do the qns in sequential order, juz ensure tt u get the maximum marks tt u ought to get out of the paper, bcoz u might juz haf not enuff time to complete the paper, and if u do the qns sequentially, and the simplest qns is the last qn, u'll juz feel like killing urself for not being able to secure the marks tt u shld haf gotten. I made this mistake twice within these few days of prelims, and i juz feel like smashing the tables after they collected the scripts sia.

Yesterday Chem paper 3, i starting went to do food chem first, coz i studied tt the most, and den did the rest in sequential order, i.e 1-8 liddat. Den i din haf time to do qn 8, left it completely blank, the teacher yelled stop writing, n when they were collecting i took a gd look at the qn... and realised it was so f***ing easy. I immediately could think up of all the answers to the qn lor, if i had the time to write the ans down it wld take abt 5 min to complete tt qn lor. It was free 10 marks leh!! Kaoz i felt so cheated lor... grrr...

Today MC paper tt time oso almost the same thing happened. The last qn was pretty easy, for a cuboid the angles they ask for r rather easy to spot. And it was 12 marks. And i was left with 5-7 min to complete it. Managed to solve the first part quite easily, den i read the qn, had the strategy planned out liaoz, confident i could get an ans out, den b4 i could write aniting the teacher yell stop writing... -.-'"... i juz feel tt i'm not doing justice to the thoughts and strategies in my head la, they presented themselves so well to me, yet they were wasted juz like tt bcoz i din do them first... Yes its a terrible feeling, do not make the same mistakes as me plz. This thing din occur for FM paper tho,the qns were all v tough, no thots clearly presented in my head...

Tml physix paper 1 n 2 hafta strive for the A liaoz, during last common test my physix grade miraculously jumped from an E to a B, den i told myself muz continually push for the A, so tml will see if there's hope for me to get the first A grade in my entire jc life... lolx...

Giving up someone u love, b4 letting her noe ur feelings, is a veri tragic thing to do. Bud it has to happen...

hafta cup

2005-09-09T22:47:00.000+08:00

I recently realised tt the librarians in sch all v guai lan... as in the staff librarians, not the students... maybe bcos i patronising the library a lot more these days... bud i juz cant stand some of them... monday tt time xl and haoz brought a bit of snacks into library, den we were steal-eating the snacks and like trying to hide from the librarian, budden she walked to our table and give one BIG useless lecture on not eating in library. I dun quite rmb wad she said la, din care either... and altho i noe we were in the wrong to eat in library in the first place la, bud she juz had to tell us dun eat in lib can le wad, den she go and say a whole lot of unnecessary stuff, make so much noise, tt got me quite pissed off with her... Den today some guy was sleeping on the table, den another librarian walked past him and said, "Wake Up!" quite loudly la, and she "Wake Up" another time den the guy stirred... and den i wanted to tell her, pple sleeping ur business ar?!! This is not LT, and there's no rule saying cannot slp in lib (is there?), who are u to stop pple from taking a break and resting ar?? Juz cant stand sch librarians u noe, sumtimes they are juz making more noise than the other pple in the lib...

Anyway mugging in sch definitely beats mugging at home, altho its damn cold in lib, bud at least the environment is conducive for studying... den i come home and all form of mugging stops -.-... cannot, hafta force myself to look at the papers, i got no time le... hellp...

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Coz I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Coz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Coz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

!!!yaD srehcaeT yppaH

2005-08-31T23:19:00.000+08:00

If i continue eating so irregularly, smth bad is bound to happen to my stomach, seriously...

B4 i start i juz wanna say happy teacher's day to all teachers out there, u pple groom the future leaders of the nation, which technically means u pple are better than the leaders of the nation lolx!!

k today was teacher's day celebrations. For me, i feel tt last year's teacher's day celebration was better than this year's... Firstly bcoz i performed last year, muahahaha, altho the response from audience wasn't tt great, bud its the experience tt counts... secondly this year's performances weren't as good as last year's, qualitywise... esp the symphonic band, dis year their percussionist was a ger, meaning no more godly drum solos and drum fills by thomas chia... thirdly there was no live rock band performance this year, so i was a bit disappointed... bud the items were still great, v entertaining. Den when back to class for some 'class party' thingy, and we played pictionary, words and catagory we came up on our own... v fun, shld haf had more of such sessions in the past la, bcoz regrettably we wun be able to play such games as a class anymore, since yesterday was technically the last schoolday of our lives... maybe we can play again during the restructure timetable periods? lolx...

After sch i was left with 2 choices to spend the rest of my day... one is to go back rv visit teachers, meet up with 4h guys since the 4j guys werent going back, den go with them to play lan; another one is come home first, wait till 2 smth den go to meet wh seng and xianlun eat sakae sushi. Since most of the teachers tt taught me in sec 4 had transferred to other schs, i settled for option 2. So i came back, slept a while, den went lot one meet up with them and immediately started chionging sushi. It was damn nice, bud 1+ hrs later i full liaoz, or rather we full liaoz, so we started toking cock until arnd 5 smth, den when we walk out tt time cannot even walk uprite... too bloated le... Went X-square there play xbox until 7 den arrive home.

I juz realized, no matter how confident i am abt the subject or topics tt are to be tested, the results come out still the same. Pple say its all in the mind, and i do respect this saying quite a bit, bud it seems no matter how much effort i put in preparing a test, i'm still not getting the results. Sometimes its careless, bud sometimes its realli bcoz i cant even do the prob, not smart enuff to see the solution. Now i noe how Hong Sung felt 3 years ago during sec 3, b4 he left rv, the helplessness... Bud still life goes on, crying abt it wun do me gd. I will realli hafta mug everyting i got if i wanna see juz a bit of improvement at all...

rite my eyes r closing on me le... shld go zz now. nitez

Juz give me a confirmation, can... it sux living life with u doing things like this to me....

empty

2005-08-26T22:05:00.000+08:00

Haiz... Prelims start in 3 days time... And i havent started my revision yet... sian... altho its juz gp, bud the fact tt the prelims are here still remains a fact, and the fact tt i'm still slacking here is truly making me worried. Ok maybe i'll juz go mug, after i'm done here la tt is...

Nth much been happening these few days, except a few laughs here and there, a maths stats test tt killed us again, recent addictions with the rubik's cube... As in nth significant for me to blog abt, and a last entry stuck at 17th Aug sumhow makes me juz wanna update it, no matter how pointless dis entry may seem...

Speaking of the rubiks cube... Most of u shld haf seen it floating arnd places here and there, so it shldnt be too unfamiliar... It's dis solid 3x3x3 cube la, with 9 unit cubes on each face (duh) den got diff colours on each side of the unit cubes, the aim is to rotate the sides of the cube until u get 6 full colours on each face of the cube. Suppose to be a maths puzzle, well it is, if u dunno the trick to it. Eh... acherlli its not quite a trick la, juz tt u'll be able to master it with sufficient practice, and the powerful formulae tt will enable u to solve the entire thing. These few days, bcoz the few of us guys haf been patronizing the newly set-up I&E Hub, and the hub has all sorts of games and puzzles to challenge the mind, me and jim haf taken a fancy on the 2 rubiks cubes in the hub. And since jason, who is already a master at solving it, simply went in and solved the 2 almost immediately, we decided to learn the tricks behind solving dis wonderful invention, bcoz if jason can do it so can we. So these few days whenever we got free period, we juz chiong to the I&E hub and juz sit there and mug on the thing. Den we consulted jason a hell lot of times, and finally after today, we sort of learnt enuff to be able to solve the thing on our own, of cuz not as in obtain jason's level, tt guy's been mugging it since sec 2 or 3, maybe earlier... And when i came home, i took the cube tt remained unsolved since tt time the CCSS camp training there, and applied the formulae and yes!! I finally solved it after more than 9 months since the training sia... Woot!!! Yes to me i tink its a v gd way to destress, if u noe the way to solve it, if not it juz might add on to ur stress level lolx... Bud the satisfaction when u solve the damn thing it juz undescribable...

Life of a maths student. Rite....

Today we had our last PE lesson, of our lives... yep, after today no more pe lessons... NS tt one not counted as PE lesson la... So we played the usual floorball, and its still so fun after all this time. I tink it has become the official class sport liaoz... bcoz every time we got free games, den pple suggest floorball, nobody objects to it... or at least i dun tink there is la... bud yar today's game was v tiring, bud fun nonetheless... And juz tinking tt we wun be able to play floorball officially during lesson is juz demoralizing la.. K maybe demoralizing is not the word to describe it... Bud yar, u noe wad i mean. Of cuz, we can always have unofficial pe, during the restructured timetable period of time after prelims ba... tt'll be gd..

Ooo time to go watch cartoon... Bud i hafta mug!!! Sian... aiya after the cartoons la...

Stop avoiding me. I noe u r. And u noe it hurts me. Yet u dun care. As usual. Haiz....

untitled

2005-08-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

Some thoughts haf been straying in my mind for the past few months. Juz now, i went back into my depressed state, which occurs every once in a while, and den these thoughts juz kept affecting me. If i dun get some of them down they'll juz keep bugging me, so i was tinking maybe juz get them down den go back and mug or smth...

Every week i look foward to wednesdays and endure thru mondaes and tuesdaes... not juz bcoz they dun taste as gd as the sundaes frm swensons, bud wednesdays got firstly PE, secondly one lecture in sch onli, den one and half hours of free time to slack and tok abt stuff during civics, den there's charmed and cartoons at night and dis drama serial on channel u at 7.30pm called qing2 ding4 ai4 qing2 hai3, i dunno the english name. The cartoons and drama acherlli thurs and fri oso got, bud bcoz wed is start of the week for these, so look foward to wed. Anyway my main pt is not the wed part. Its the drama part.

This show, Qing2 Ding4 Ai4 Qing2 Hai3, i shall call it QDAQH for short, has gotten my mother all hooked onto it and i personally tink its a v nice show. Not juz bcoz the lead actress is pretty, bud oso i feel i can sort of click well with the characters and the way they interact, as in i fully understand how they feel and y they do the things they do, or say the tings they say. Honestly not many shows haf been able to make me feel liddat b4, maybe bcoz i experienced b4 wad some of the characters in the story go thru, den it juz makes me all melancholic and reflective over myself... Oso bcoz there r a lot of things abt life tt u can learn frm this show, and i haf been tinking abt some of the things they toked abt these few weeks...

Do wad u tink is rite, not wad others tink is rite for u. Pple often say we r the masters of our own life, therefore we control our own destiny. Maybe tt's y some pple dun believe in this thing called Fate. Bud i tink both sides are true and i partially believe in fate, while believing in controlling my own life as well. Sometimes u do things for a certain cause, bud sometimes ur actions will be affected by others, wad others say to u and the advices they give. Such advices may work well for certain pple, bud as of biology, there are always exceptions, bcoz some things in life u can nv be able to predict correctly, like pple's behaviour and reactions to certain stuff. Thus there will be different outcomes for pple taking the same advice. In the end the person tt screwed up bcoz he took tt advice will blame the 'advisor' for giving such a stupid idea and ruining his life. Advices onli do so much as to give u options on wad to do. Therefore the best thing to do is to judge for urself wad u shld do, rely on ur intuition to do the rite thing, however wrong it may be.. Coz tt's when u truly experience and learn for urself how to do it rite, and ur intuitive powers bcome more, correct. Tt's when u r truly in control of ur own life.

hmmm.... nvm lets carry on.

The show mentioned something abt frenship and love being mutually exclusive. Feelings of attraction can onli go so far btwn close frens, bud wun go further to the pt of relationship. Even if it does, the relationship wun last, and the couple realises they'r better off as frens. This oso seems to be the case from wad i observe in daily life, tho i wun cite specific examples. Budden i vaguely rmb sum1 saying tt most relationships arise due to frenship... er maybe they dun refer to long term frenship? hmm... Anyway the pt i'm trying to drive at is tt frenship shldnt be confused with love. If u'r meant to be frens den the 2 of u will forever remain frens, bud if u'r meant to be a couple den the mutual attraction shld start at quite an early stage. If there r examples to counter dis statement, plz fill me in on it... oh and dis paragraph izznt directed to anyone hor... its juz a thot tt wld like to share..

Prelims r arnd the corner, esp GP, in juz a few weeks time. Not as if i juz wrote some sort of essay la, dis doesnt count, bud its gd to get some practice here and dere...

Juz now when i was watching the show the ideas juz kept pouring in, bud now at 12 smth i tink i forgot most of them liaoz... shld haf written them down as i watched, den it wld realli haf bcame essay... maybe i shld do tt next time... tt'll be fun...

Tml got chem test and i still havent found my reaction kinetics notes. So dead. Aiya nvm... see how tml la.. and still got AQ to finish.. zzz

Change is gd

2005-08-13T00:03:00.000+08:00

What an interesting day today turned out to be. Bud b4 i touch on today, sumting inside me wans me to briefly go thru national day tt day. So ok lor, narrate wad happened on tue... Dun worry, it'll be brief...

Tue National Day, was supposed to meet 6hers at bedok to go east coast park, bud i geh kiang go tell them i ownself take bus meet them at ecp there, cos the bus terminates at upp east coast raod. Turned out tt upp east coast rd was quite far from ecp, den i was like... where e hell am i? The interchange was like in the middle of a forest, some ulu ulu place... searched for half an hour and decided to give up, so i took a cab there... Den when i reached there, rented a bike and cycled all the way to meet them. A while later my one of my sandals broke, den i was walking barefooted along the footpath... while the other guys went canoeing, i juz slacked at the coast with kexin and the gers. Den went esplanade there watch fireworks, v nice... as in really v nice... den slacked around at suntec until v late. K i dun tink tt was v brief, bud i honestly left out a lot of details, if not this entry will be dedicated to narration on ND, budd yar...

This morning had to reach sch earlier, cos principal giving vouchers to all NE Ambs for our contribution during Cultural mapping, bud ended up still barely reached sch on time... den after assembly we had to go atrium for photo taking, so mrs marianne tan was there to help us take photo... den when ms sharon phua told us to space out abit so tt the photo captured the background, mrs tan said, "arr shuddup la!!" 0.0!!!!! LOLX First time see any teacher dare to use such attitude towards ms phua... den all of us down there stun tio... nv has any teacher or student dared to treat ms phua so lightly lor... lolx kaoz wad a day to rmb in NJ history sia... lolx..

And so the day carried on... tutorial was as usual, phy lecture slpt like no need money liddat, maths test bloody screwed, gp today damn slack, and PE cancelled and no one told us... great... Den went with jim and haoz go wheelock bcoz jim wanted to buy a crumpler bag... -.- too much money sia... heard tt sixun grace maisha and ruifen at PS swensons enjoying $4 icecream, so we decide to go join in the fun... den the 3 of us each ordered u.p. $7.50 worth of sundae... wah it was damn bloody shiok la, bud damn fattening as well... and after tt had a lot of phlegm in my throat... bud such stuff for $4 was definitely worth it man... u all shld go try... weekdays onli hor the offer... den went arnd to shop for teachers day present, and settle for a cute turtle... acherlli its not particularly cute la... bud oh well, bought liaoz so...
yar...

Sometimes i really wonder when is my life gonna change for the better. Maybe i really need to put in the effort for it, bud y does it always seem to change naturally and automatically for others... Like previous times, its starting to get boring again, and my mother juz makes it sound so easy... "juz bear with it for this few months..." This few months will seem like an eternity lor... maybe i shld juz change the way i look at it... bud hor... haizz...

Is sum1 getting the bestX4 of u??

Happy B'dae Singapore

2005-08-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

haha ok i noe its been ages since my last update... better update now, if not it'll bcome like last time liddat... ops =X

Let's start from yesterday. Yesterday went for my sister's baby's (ok my nephew..) er... wad do u call it... One Month Anniversary party?? Aiya in chinese it's called man yue... juz to celebrate the baby's first month in this world. yar... acherlli i was quite late, coz i woke up late, den by the time i reach my sis's house quite a lot of the guests left liaoz... bud nvm, still got to kope the food, and most importantly, see the baby!!! He's damn cute la... v small, bud yar v cute... his name's Ethan, well they thot it was a nice name... i dunno...

Den after tt later in the evening went for guitar's senior's farewell, turned out the onli j2 guys who went were Govin and I... initially had sanji and rf too, bud sanji had some family function to attend, and rf was juz trying to be a jackass by saying no beer dun go... in the end govin and i realli went to get a bottle of e-33, to prepare to drink during the party later. After abt 30 min govin cldn't tahan anymore, so he popped open his bottle and started drinking... den we went to edeline's estate's function rm, where the thing was held... and saw tt they ordered canadian pizza. -.-'"... Eh i noe canadian pizza got this 2 for 1 offer la, bud the quality of food is seriously being compromised here. U muz noe other than their hawaiian, for every other type of pizza they hafta offer, every bite is quite a torture for me. I seriously miss pizza hut's pizzas lor. I realli tink with their standard, even half price per pizza for 2 is not worth the money lor. I'd rather u all spend more to get much better quality pizza from pizza hut lor, i can fork out some money if the funds not enuff, realli... at least it'll be more shiok than some canadian pizza... Anyway the juniors r still v sweet to organise a farewell party for us, we the seniors are realli v grateful. Thnx for the candles and the food (not including the pizza hor)!!! lolx... Hope we can come back nxt year to perform for the concert yar =D...

Ok onto today... today was supposed to be National Day Celebrations, bud the sch happily made it into a Community Service Day, and together with it we are to celebrate with the much dreaded Cultural Mapping... Anyway morning tt time we were supposed to go take care of the elderly and usher them arnd the sch, bud apparently they took their time to reach our sch, so wh seng and i went down to linkway to watch some other old folks sing karaoke... all the Teresa Teng oldies and some other unknown songs... lolx.. Den the old folks we were supposed to look after came, and we juz followed the schedule and guided them thru the sch.. Overall i felt tt we could haf done better, bud i'm sure the old pple had a fun time here la... bud frankly speaking, i tink its juz another one of the sch's devious plans to attract media attention onli la...

And den the main event for today... the CLASS OUTING!!! yes smth i was looking forward to... Well we initially planned to go Marina south seoul garden to eat there, den boss said there under renovation, so dunno if the seoul garden there affected anot... so in the end they changed to taka seoul garden. Upon reaching orchard mrt busstop smth wonderful happened... I realised i forgot to hand in the pink quiz forms. -.-'" N so i rushed to the other side of orchard and took a cab back to nj. Den i saw the cab got tv mobile on the back of the seats de... so cool... den ran back to the library to hand in the papers, bud bcoz i was already half an hour late of handing the papers, bcoz the deadline was 12 noon, so the teacher there took 3/4 of it onli... i was juz glad to be able to get rid of the papers la... took 171 back to taka there, den bcoz i forgot to bring my hp out in the morning, i din haf my hp with me, so had to use public phone to check where they were. And its been dunno how long since i last used a public phone lor... lolx... found out they changed to eating at Breeks there, the food was ok la... bud a bit slow ar... had to wait quite a long time, and bcoz i joined them later, it was like after everyone finished their food den my order came... bud anyway their Ocean was damn nice... o speaking of Ocean, Aaron ordered one too, bud he disappeared when his Ocean was served... So we happily went to sabo aaron and put all sorts of things inside his drink.. there was lemon juice, sugar, chili sauce (was there?), and best... coleslaw!! LOLX... den when he returned he din suspect anyting la.. except tt he asked me, "Eh does ur Ocean haf some crunchy thing inside?" lolx apparently he sucked up the coleslaw veg... den i juz told him no la, juz they din blend the ice well enuff.. lolx... After tt went to marina bay to go bowling.. v fun, juz tt aaron turkeyed, we all sian diao.. bud overall damn fun... lolx...

yes tml is National day, juz wan wish Singapore happy 40th b'dae, congratz, and yes hafta start mugging liaoz... Ms ng buey song liaoz, bcoz lecture test whole day been getting shitty scores and not making to hall of fame... even Sanji can confidently say he confirm HOF liaoz... haizzz tink i better rethink my life yar...

I really wish i can haf the chance to talk to u alone, coz there's so much i wanna tell u... bud it seems there will always be pple arnd us, disturbing the peace... and den there's u, not giving me the chance to express myself.. maybe is not the rite time yet, or maybe i'm too late... bud i juz wan let u noe, u'll always be here in my heart...

haha balrog...

2005-07-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

haha balrog in town, everyone dies... lolx

lolx everyone really die... lolx so cool...

juz a post for fun... Bcoz juz now in maple got GM event, cldn't make it back in time for the 3 pm one, so juz enter the 9 pm one... anyway my team won the event juz now, so i got the devil's scroll ^^, bud i haben open the box yet, so... yar dunno wad i get juz yet. As i got out i heard channel 5 got balrog in town, so went there check out... HUGE LAG there, den the next thing i saw the whole town was raining tombstones... lolx, so i took some screenshots while getting myself killed in the process lolx...

Pple upload photos onto blog, i upload screenshots... lolx...

The only time when i can express myself, is in my dreams...

summer gana blown by wind

2005-07-24T13:23:00.000+08:00

I had the longest and weirdest dream last night. Ok la, maybe not the weirdest... i had weirder dreams b4...

It started with me in my dining rm, which is juz outside my rm, doing gp hw. GP HW???!!! When the hell did i ever care abt gp hw? I forgot wad was it abt la, bud i heard sounds coming from the com in my rm. Sounded like a game... den i went in and saw my father playing GTA on my com. O.0!!! When the hell did my father start playing such violent games? Or rather when did he even knew how to play such games?? The most i saw him play was 3D pinball from the start menu there... And how did he install GTA on my com?? I tried to install this game for the past week, bud it seems my com cant read burnt dvds... and GTA being 4.7 GB large, can onli be burnt into dvd... so i dunno how he got the game into my com...

Den he suddenly said we are going to the airport, and suddenly we were at the airport liaoz... boarded the vv small plane, those type like going skydiving those veri small ones, can see the pilot flying the plane those kind... den the plane was flying v close to the ground, v fast, den up ahead got a building, the plane juz fly up vertically, like in the cartoons liddat... den at the top the plane hit smth, den the thing crashed... The pilot hopped out, took out a veri a large metal square thing, told everyone to take one side of the square and pull, juz pull... and i dunno y everyone juz did as they were told, including me... den one by one the other passengers slipped and fell off the building, den in the end left me... Den the pilot stepped out of a shop, i dunno y there's a shop at the roof of a building, carrying a bag of clothes. Den he said, "Since u the onli one left, u shall be my successor..." smth liddat... Den i got scared and i woke up.

Total nonsense.

Anyway yesterday went to suntec convention hall for some Zpop concert thingy, supposedly for the President Star Charity de... I had the complimentary tickets worht $20 from lao shi, so did jim haoz seng and xianlun, so we juz decided to go hear hear, get away from studies for a while... I was late as usual, so i met them at suntec itself, den went up to the lvl 6 big big hall... it started at 5, bud when we went there the starting part was all the low profile singers and band, so we got quite sian and at 7.30 liddat decided to go down for dinner... oh ya there was this grp of 6 gers beside us when we were in the hall, one of them quite gd-looking, den they bumped into haoz and apologized when we were inside, and when we were at the food court they were walking arnd oso, den as we left we saw the gd-looking one buying ban mian, and so she's known as BMG to us... LOLX

Den when we went back in after a while JJ popped out, and everyone juz went screaming... i not veri into chinese pop, so i juz stood there... den JJ left and a huge portion of pple did too, 183 club and a Gigi leung later, President Nathan came and the Star Wars theme was played to welcome him... v weird. And juz after he came we decided to leave... lolx... we ask seng to take photo of him, bud seng said wun be able to see anyting de lolx... tt bastard...

I tink dis box where the entry is in is abit small... if i type long long, which i almost always do lolx, u pple reading will get v sian... rite? Is there any way to make this box bigger anot ar? I not v pro at html stuff... if not got a lot of black empty spaces wasted nia..

Talk to me. It hurts when u dun.

chemistry 101

2005-07-18T20:39:00.000+08:00

No this entry got nth to do with chem... and not tt i like it a lot... ok la, quite like chem la, but... its juz a title. Anyway nowadays raining quite frequently... these few days everyday oso got rain, so the temperature dropping... days are getting cooler, bud every morning at parade square still so bloody hot... dun understand y...

Today was racial harmony day, and i onli thot of it when i saw pple in ethnic clothing walking to sch... Den i rmb SP telling NE reps last fri to give out some book tt the students hafta haf on mon morning for some pledge taking... well i did give the books out, bud turned out tt today no news of wad pledge taking... so i was quite relieved... Den maths tutorial tt time jim said smth stupid, den ms ng told him to stand at the back of the class for a while... den once he left the seat mad n i made full use of the empty space, dump our bags and stuff on his chair and table... LOLX...

The 50 min of civics today was meant for RHD activities, so the class went down to the linkway to watch the sepak takraw competition... ok most of the class la... the rest i dunno go where... was quite funny watching pple juggle the balls, some of them quite pro la, bud lignum i dun tink they did tt well... bud well, its the experience tt counts yar... On the way back saw some pple playing mahjong on the floor, den i >.<... i oso wan play... den bcoz we were late for physix tutorial, so we asked rizal to fake accident, to give us a reason for coming to class late... lolx damn funny...

Afternoon went to watch Fantastic Four with jim haoz and lunxian... yar quite nice la, story plot is quite the normal comics storyline lo, bud the effects were veri cool... and Jessica Alba is DAMN HOT!!!!! woo~ major eye candy thru out the show sia... wow hope to see her more often in future shows yar... lolx... bud overall a veh nice show, with some hidden themes inside too i tink... those took e. lit b4 shld be able to identify, bud yar...

And yes, amt of hw is increasing everyday, now realli hafta rush hw and get serious le la... judging from my results... cannot make it sia... hafta sacrifice le... so yar... bb
You again... Haiz...

Milo Bing...

2005-07-15T00:17:00.000+08:00

I've been feeling extremely tired these few days... Cannot get up in the morning, even if i do, which i eventually did, i feel damn giddy leh... smth tells me its exhaustion, bud i havent been doing anyting tt strenuous wad... rite? Budden hor, these few days after i come back from sch, i did smth which i quite disliked and havent been doing for god noes how many years... i slept in the afternoon. All u pple may tink chey, we do tt all the time... Bud its juz me, i tink napping in the afternoon is quite a waste of time. Bud these few days i come home, remove lenses and den juz plop on the bed and slp till 7. Den i'll feel like crap when i wake up. Haiz...

Wednesday we had best practices. Guitar grp thot of putting up performance, in the end it was juz sanji rf and i performing. And the thing was, we realized the best practices was on 13th july onli last thursday... B4 tt we were totally unprepared. Totally. I tink it was our record... preparing for the gig 5 days b4 it. Previously it was 2 weeks, now its 5 days... Rite... And as usual a lot of things cock up... kk refusing to perform, finding distortion paddle, getting performance venue, securing equipment... and on the day itself, we realise there was no drumset. -.-'"... After all tt we jammed for den come n tell us no drumset... so bo bian, hafta make do w/o the drums, which was quite fine with us, den i can play guitar... Den we onli plugged everyting in onli minutes b4 the actual performance, and there was NO stage crew to help us with the amp, there was NO tech run prior to this performance, and we were given NO time to do a proper sound check. Oh and the venue was in the hall, and when it was our turn to perform, the curtains weren't drawn, so basically everyone was watching while we shifted the amp to the middle of the stage, untangled all the wires, did a very rushed sound check on stage and fumble all the way. Very embarassing indeed. Den in the end sanji's solo came out the output was very noisy, i couldnt hear the melody and it sounded like a total mess. Honestly it really was our worst performance ever in our entire JC life, even worst den the first one. The 3 of us were like f***ing pissed after the show. The only thing gd was tt we din screw up our parts, bud the lack of everything tt should be there in a proper gig was enuff to ruin the whole thing. Wad's the use of playing well when the audience cant even make out wad u r playing? Not bcoz our piece was hard to understand, its a ballad for goodness sake, bud bcoz we weren't given the time and place to do a proper sound check, to ensure the volumes and gains are of the appropriate level, if not it would haf been quite a gd performance. So far other than the teacher's day performance, none of our gigs haf been successful, and i'm so sick of such minor screw-ups tt affect the flow of the entire thing. It juz angers me whenever i tink of it... Raaaa _("\(;..;)/")_

Immediately after tt had to rush to LT 1 for the handover. And yes am i glad to finally handed over the duties to the juniors. Finally free of all the responsiblities liaoz, not tt it has been a torture or smth, i really had fun as exco member of guitar club, juz tt dis sense of freedom make me so relieved... Bud still my time in the guitar club has definitely been very enjoyable, in fact i enjoyed it the most out of my previous CCA's... So yar i officially have nth to do with guitar club le lolx...

V tired now, bud i still got tutorial to pia. Tink i stop writing le la... muz start work le...

I miss u. A lot. I really do. T.T

casualty nia

2005-07-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

I shall get straight to the story.

Friday night arnd 8 smth liddat set out for night cycling with yichao and yisheng, bud bcoz i din haf a bike, mine disintegrated 5 years ago, so had to go borrow one. Earlier this week yisheng (or was it yc) helped me secure a bike from zp, so tt night had to go borrow the bike from him. So i walked the long and winding road to zp's hse, and when i saw the bike i was like... ok... dunno how describe... the wheels were small... smaller than the normal bike wheels la... and there was no gear... so when i was riding out to main road tt time, got this slope i had to climb... and to cycle on tt bike up the slope was even worse than running 2.4... i rather push the bike up sia... ya bcoz got no gear 1... den met yc at the busstop there and den cycle all the way to ys's hse. By the time we reached there it was like arnd 11 liddat. Den we down there slack for a while den headed out for night cycling. Oh one more thing abt tt bike, i dunno if its the seat or my butt, bud my pi gu got quite pain after sitting on the seat for some distance... so for the journey i was like, sitting quite sengeh on one side of my butt... lolx...

Our route was to go from his hse... and den travel the no.10 bus route to lau pa sat... we anticipated to reach there arnd 2 or 3 am liddat... in the end we travelled so fast we reached lau pa sat at arnd 11.40 liddat... -.-'" it wasnt even midnight yet... so basically it was the same as taking the no. 10 bus to lps... juz more tired and more shiok onli... so we slacked there for a while, eat fatman satay and had some shiok stuff... wa the fatman stay was gd nia... bud it was still v early in the night... so we thought... ok maybe can go sentosa there cycle to the beach, sit there tok cock a while, den go back to ys hse... So we ok lor, set off to sentosa, den ride across the bridge and into sentosa itself... den bcoz it was arnd 12 smth liddat, so sentosa there v little cars, onli taxis lolx... den sentosa there quite hilly ma, so got a lot of uphills and downhills, so bike until legs damn tired... den it happened. LOLX

There was dis slope, gradient was relatively steep la, leading directly to the beach... den we were travelling down at quite high speeds... den all of a sudden sum1, i forgot who was it, shouted, " eh got hump!!! slow down!!" Den when i heard the word hump, my first reaction was, apply brakes... so i squeezed one of the brakes, i dunno y i squeezed only one, bud it was the wrong brakes!!! Apparently it was the front brakes, so ended up the bike flipped and i flew, literally catapulted out of the thing and den juz, bshaaa onto the road. Den i turn back and saw the bike flying towards me... LOLX so drama... ok not tt kua zhang, lucky din hit my head, and lucky din fracture any bone, juz got a few grazes.. Bud it was damn fun acherlli, come on, how many times do ever get to fly out of a bike? lolx... bud yar lucky oso the 7-11 was juz nearby... den buy some antiseptic and plasters... den we bike all the way back to ys's hse lor... den on the way back, there was this rock on the road, and it got in ys's way, so he hit the rock and wobble wobble onto the curb. Den sumhow his legs got injured as well... lolx... Den when we reach his hse he was like trickling blood all over the hse, and he din realize the wounds on his legs until he saw the blood on the floor... lolx... i tink i contributed to some of the blood there as well... oops..

At arnd 3 smth liddat yc fell aslp, and he sprawled onto the whole bed, den i got no place to slp... ended up i stone there thru out the night for 2 hours b4 finally dozing off... den woke up at arnd 9 smth den i, oh no, hafta rush back to go jam... den after jam come back slp until 7... lolx... and yar... u all wan see pictures of our night cycling juz go ys's blog, jiahui and huixian's blog got link to his blog i tink... yar my shoulder abit painful now... bud its juz muscle la i tink.. hope i can recover quickly nia... lolx so fun

aiya~...

2005-07-07T22:40:00.000+08:00

Wad an eventful day today has been... ok la for the first few hours of the day onli la... got quite boring as the day went by, den the events picked up again... lolx... budd i shall start from yesterday... Shall we start from yesterday? yes we shall... so lets go...

Yesterday was a Wednesday. Cool, can get to wear t-shirt... anyway, all was as usual until pe, play soccer for half an hour under the burning blazing frigginly-hot sun... den tcher say for pe is play handball... cool, similar to bball... another 50 min under the burning blazing frigginly-hot sun... ended up damn tired, bud was quite shiok acherlli... kinda reminded me of my training days... missed training lots nia... lolx... Den later on in the day had the career talks, and the DSTA pple sent a plump auntie who looked like the executive cleaner for the company, an ex-njcian (or was the other one an ex-njcian too?) who went to london to study and absorbed too much british essence, coming back to hao lian to us in his "half accent", and another guy who works at DSO Labs who simply cant present for nuts la... den after the talk went to slack at atrium with boss and the rest while waiting for 4 pm to arrive, den went for exco meeting while the others went of to town. Den halfway thru the meeting haoz said he secure a ticket for me for the band concert liaoz, so ok lor... decided to go join them for the concert... Ended up by the time i reached Raffles City they all eat finish walking out of Food Junction... den i was damn hungry at tt time, so went to bk wanting to get a burger den juz zao, bud went i went in BK i saw nj pple... not one or two... MILLIONS OF US... all squeezing in the queues in front of the counters... den i -.-'"... decided to juz da bao from Long John... and i was walking with them (Jim Haoz Mad Grace Esther Maisha) to VCH while eating the Combo 1 at the same time, looking like a loser... and the coke was quite diluted...

Den arrive at VCH, everyone was like dressed so nicely, den we a few of the few who were there in uniform... bud who cares... and the concert was damn nice!!!! The music was gd, quite a few comtemporary pieces... except for a few parts i thot they wern't quite together.. bud overall its still vvv nice... If they held it at esplanade, i tink i could haf been better...
rushed home juz in time to watch a bit of shaman king... lolx...

Anyway back to today, the main stuff happened in the morning la... This morn bcoz its thursday, got staff meeting, so could wake up a bit later... Den when i went to the bus stop hor, i saw dis ger sitting there, not bad.. quite chio... den i sat to her right, which is basically in front of her, bcoz at busstop ma, everyone face right de... den she suddenly tap my back, and when i turn arnd she said, "Hey do u remember me? We used to play together when we were young, rmb?" Den I 0.o HUH???!!! Got such thing ar... Bcoz she looked totally unfamiliar sia, i dun recognise her at all... Den i was in quite a shock la, so i told her i cldn't rmb... den we talked for a while, got to noe she's in poly, bud bcoz i was in quite a shock at tt time, so we din tok much, i din even ask for her name... Later on during chem lecture, i was tinking abt the incident, den as i thot, i was like... Come to tink of it, i seem to haf a vague image of playing with a ger who lived arnd in my estate during my pri sch days... Bud she looked totally different leh... Den at tt time i really regretted not toking more nia... LOLX XD...

All of a sudden, Mrs Cheng's voice sounded thru the PA system and said, "To all students, an emergency has juz occurred. Plz proceed immediately to the assembly area. I repeat..." Den we took our bags and squeezed out of the LT. At first i believed her u noe, realli thot like maybe got some fire in the labs... den i was wondering how come got no fire alarm ar, y is it mrs cheng speaking to us... 15 min later den i realised it was juz a drill, den my heart sank... y not real, if not it'll be fun nia... den went back and the day proceeded on as per normal...

Came back at 2.50 smth, turned on com and saw at the maple website tt the GM event was scheduled 7/7/2005. Den i was like, izznt tt today???! den i check the time of the event... 3 pm SG time... izznt tt like NOW??? so i hurriedly logged into maple den sent my noob character to Lith Harbor to check things out, and it was damn lag... hell lotta pple there... 20 min later got pple announce event over... den i aiya... bud juz now i participated the 2nd event at 9, situation was worse... even more pple, com got Friggin Blurdy Lag... bud still manage to participate in the event, tho din win much... another aiya... bud overall not bad... at least the GMs bothered to organise an online event, where everyone can participate at the comfort of their own home... lolx.. shld haf these more often la... maple getting boring liaoz..

anyway today was one of the not so boring days, tho some things could haf turned out for the better =l, bud still not bad la... at least today was not so routine... hope got more of such days to come nia... LOLX!!!

Woo~

2005-07-02T15:47:00.000+08:00

Haha yes everyone is saying it and i saying it too... CT's over, for now... enjoyment here, for now la... bud yar tt's all we care abt now. Thru out the whole of last week had my common test, and it ran thru out the week alrite...

Mon was maths c and gp, maths c is i'm hoping for pass, yar its tt bad... bud gp paper was fun... FOR ONCE i understood the passage, and for once had so much fun writing AQ nia... haha altho i noe i will still get 2 marks onli bcoz its all cock...

Tue was FM, and yes again FOR ONCE had so much fun doing the paper... Altho i spent like 40 min on a stupid qn tt was worth 1 mark... bud it really wasted one whole page of rough work... and yes hope of an A in my whole jc life is there... barely there bud still there... lolx..

Wed physix... acherlli dis one i got no comments... really its was juz ok la... the qns not tt tough.. juz tt the ans i not confident onli... so dunno how well i did... acherlli hor i always got this feeling after every physix paper... and everytime get back my physix nv got above a C b4... lolx

Thur Chem... dis one is really -.-"'... tink abt it jiu angry... _("\(;..;)/")_... lets not tok abt it

Fri this one oso made me quite -.- bud its bcoz it was in the afternoon, den i slack in the morning leave hse at 1 smth, den juz go sch exam come back 4 smth... It was Maths S btw... and it was simpler than i expected, altho i still left a lot of qns blank, bud at least got hope of passing... i hope la..

Den bcoz Jermyn came back from Sydney yesterday night, den yichao organize all guys gathering, bud in the end juz yichao yisheng jermyn and me went onli lolx. We were suppose to meet 8 at newton, bud bcoz at ACS Barker there tt stretch of road jam until no water can pass thru, everyone arrive at 9, including me lolx... den went newton circus hawker centre there eat, well, all the unhealthy stuff... jermyn missed the food here too much liaoz, so he ordered fried kway teow, cai tao kuey, ou lua, rojak, satay and stingray, all $5 portions except the stingray which was $12, and the 4 of us juz whacked everything. And it damn shiok nia... my stomach nv been so satisfied in a vvv long time, and for a long long time oso i nv hungry at 3 am nia... lolx.. bud we were all damn bloody bloated... den left newton went clarke quay... den after tt i'm not allow to elaborate wad happened... came back at 2.30 smth... bud its ok, ct's over liaoz, parents cant do a damn to me.. muahaha...

yar happy thing is mon is youth day, acherlli is tml, bud push to mon sch hol, so tue den lesson resume. sad thing is tt 2 more months den prelim le. T.T muz play as hard as i can now, den pia for 3 months +, den enjoy another 1 month b4 go NS... ooo time flies yar. Looking forward to tml night cycling, budden i no bike, muz rent... oso dunno got where can rent nia... bud yar... fun!! lolx

sian...

2005-06-21T23:06:00.000+08:00

Sian... the one month holiday din feel like one month... it felt more like... i dunno, two weeks? Aiya it felt fast jiu shi le la... and i miss the sec and pri sch days tt were during this period. Bcoz during tt time in dis period, our exams were over... Mid-year onli la, bud big enuff... At tt time, the hols were really vacation for us... can play for the whole period of the one month... Altho got holiday hw, bud everyone will juz heck, so yar, tt time v fun... Den now in jc, holiday = study break, inofficial... bcoz common test after hols... and got maths s on fri summore... shld haf dropped it when i had the chance, bud now... yar nvm juz live with it...

Acherlli i shldn't be complaining la... the non jc pple will be saying wad, so gd got hols can hao hao study... well i guess having ct's after hols is better ba... bud i'm complaining bcoz i feel guilty... apparently the usual stuff is happening, last week of hols den start piaing... budden i not even considered piaing now... everyday is study 2 hrs onli... oh no... and is less than one week to ct's... oh no... i noe its my fault, i shld haf controlled myself... bud at home is really v distracting la... and den plus physix dun haf practice paper, chem dun haf practise paper... memorising notes wun work, i tried b4 le... wad am i to do... haiz...

i tink i try mugging in kap for one whole day la... it seems to be v effective for some pple... sounds not bad as well... maybe i try tt tml...

there's juz no esc...

2005-06-07T23:41:00.000+08:00

Haiz... Bad days. Forever a part of life. Juz like death. Or puberty. Or aging. All stepping stones in the journey of life. They juz have to happen sooner or later. And there's no end to it, until the end of life. It juz happens every now and then, and it happened today. Of cuz i'm complaining abt it, bud its notas if there was anyting i could haf done to prevent it, or as if complaining abt it here will make things better... ok la it does make me feel ABIT better, bud yar... today, was not tt serious, i've had much worse days than today b4... bud was enough to make me complain abt it now, at the very end of the day.

acherlli a lot of small small trivial stuff added up to bcome dis bad day la, so i wun talk abt them, i'll juz talk abt... wad i wan to talk abt lor...

today went ns med checkup... i left hse on schedule la, budden my plan was to leave hse, haf lumch at hawker centre den proceed to cmpb de, i had the time all planned out liaoz... budden the auntie at the stall there take soooo long to serve my order... maybe it was lumch time la, she abit busier than usual, or maybe she forgot my order... bud the thing juz took a v long time to come to me... ya one of the small trivial stuff to add to a bad day... anyway so i arrived at cmpb late. den followed their instructions thruout the afternnon lor... fill up questionnare, den to urine test, pee on some plastic strip den will change colour de... gross.. den blood test, they din use syringe la, juz poke 2 holes on the tip of middle finger, den use tube and capillary action to suck my blood up... ooo... den go dental check, hear the dentist say some chim chim stuff, den go ENT, test audio... den go there listen to monotones, den raise up left or right hand according to the sound... felt like an idiot la basically, den go eye check, juz some basic stuff, like visiting optometrist liddat... den go x-ray, wa the equipment damn nice sia, bud i felt scared, dunno y... ar den go medical liaoz, check all the remaining stuff. den while i was waiting for the ecg, some admin guy at the counter using the com there den play music, bud bcoz he was indian (no i'm not being racist here), he was playing some weird indian music on the com la... and it was quite loud.. and it got quite irritating. And to make matters worse he was singing along with it... sian...another small trivial matter... den so happened on tt day there was onli one doctor in the consultation rm doing the med checkup... so it was like, one person arnd 10-15 min liddat... den ended up i waited till arnd 4.30 den my turn... den i tink the doc oso sianz liaoz, i went in den he,"ok, got any problems?" den i," no dun haf". Den he,"got anyting u wan to report?" "no dun haf." "Everyting normal ar?" "yar normal normal.." den he, aiya anyting la, give u pes A la... den he juz check here check there abit, den yar, over. Less than 5 min. Others more than 10 min. Wonderful. Honestly, thruout the whole thing hor, 85% of the time is i spend waiting leh... acherlli i noe the others oso the same la... budden it juz makes me bei song... abit onli la.. den bcoz its already 4.30 den the com labs close liaoz, so hafta go back another day to do the IQ tests... sian...

Initially planned to go holland v there meet up with tham and jon and honda... den honda dunno y pang seh us, jon oso realise he got smth on, so andy and i cancelled it.. den tham damn pissed la... i oso quite pissed... in the end went with andy go adam hawker there eat dinner, den went to heeran meet up with 6h they all... realised they were eating at billy bombers... and the food smelled gd... kinda regretted eating at hawker, until i saw the price... den in the end after the dinner everyone went home... so i was like... great, i come all the way to town juz to watch them eat and go home... and i went home alone summore... when i reached my block downstairs juz now realli wanted to grab a drink man... bud yar... no 7-11 in the vicinity...

anyway tml is guitar camp, hope everyting will turn out fine, hope tml will turn out much better than today... haiz...

rite...

2005-05-31T23:48:00.000+08:00

After a long long time... finally a day interesting enuff for me to blog abt... if not ar if i blog on everyday abt the normal routines i go thru... anyway yes a day eventful enuff for me to blog on... and we shld haf dis more often man, life is a lot better dis way dun u all tink... rather than staying at home and mug ur ass off... even if wan mug muz learn honda... go kap mug all by himself... no com or tv or bed, distractions as such to well, distract u... at kap alone is got no choice bud to eat or mug... and u cant eat macs food all day so u haf no choice bud mug... he does haf a pt tho... shall try it some day...

On to today, woke up at 7+ to get rdy to go ZhengHua primary for the rehearsal for the thursday camp, and to basically get briefed on the camp, bcoz b4 today i had absolutely no idea abt the camp whatsoever... so anyway we were supposed to meet at phoenix LRT... well not tt i nv heard of tt station b4, juz tt i'm not v familiar with the LRT network onli... i onli sat in the thing arnd the system once... so i thot maybe take bus to bt panjang there den take LRT to the station there... and den i found out phoenix station is onli one stop away from bt panjang station -.-'"... i could even walk from the station dere lor... wasted my 45 cents... Anyway this guy who kept smiling all the time led us thru the neighbourhood to ZPS, and spent the entire morning preparing for the camp on thurs... got boring after a while, and everyone wanted to go at the end, coz at arnd 11 smth abt half the pple, as in nj students, left for the psychometric test... its for the scholarship pple, those who got take s paper de, bud up till now i still dunno wad its abt... anyway everyone got v sian, i oso got v sian, the ic's oso got sian, so everyone was let off at arnd 1 smth... den i was on my own, dunno wad to do, decide to go watch star wars at westmall there... bud when i arrived at westmall was already 2 smth, after lumch 2.15 den i went to check the board there... the show was 3.15 -.-'"... and i was meeting grace at 5.30... and i heard from mori the show is 2 hrs +... so i was rather undecisive... thot abt it for 15min b4 deciding to go home... haiz in the end still hafta find sum other time to go watch...

arnd 5 i realize i was late liaoz... so rushed outta the hse, initially to head to orchard, den at the bus stop yida called said they watching at cine, so had to change to meeting grace at somerset mrt... den i forgot tt the 174 doesnt stop at orchard emerald there, i was supp to stop at hmv den walk a bit to somerset de, ended up stopping at orchard meridien there den walk all the way back to centerpoint dere -.-'"... anyway we, mad grace yida wh seng and i, went watch monster in law... v nice show, blurdy funni, bud j lo getting old le... yar den after the show everyone leaving the cinema, i began to stand up bud felt funni... like my pants a bit lighter sia... den i check and realise my wallet missing... den searched arnd and still couldnt find, bud somehow i din panic, dunno y... and den wh found it stuck at the side of the seat -.-'"... well cine is a cursed place, tt time went with the same grp to watch some movie last year oso at cine den after the movie grace lost hers, bud the next day found it... anyway we now make it a pt nv to go cine watch, for me not with dis grp tt is... dunno y i go with 6hers nth happen leh...

den after the movie going home tt time saw some band performing at youth park... den it occurred to me tt they haf this performance on the streets thingy... to promote the rock culture in singapore... a brave movement by minister of youth development and sports Dr Vivien Balakrishnan lolx... so from now to 12 or 13th june everyday got bands performing at youth park there at night... YEA!!! got free concerts sia... finally Singapore awaken to receive the rock culture sia... woo muz inform sanji of dis sia... and tml they haf wad band competition, dis one hafta go watch... so shiok sia...

today i write quite a lot, coz got a lot to write... -.-'"... and bcoz i happier today... so i write lor... lolx.. bud yar hafta enjoy it now, bcoz tml wake up le den feel down again... yar... tt's all for now.. bbyez

juz an entry for the fun of it

2005-05-23T17:08:00.000+08:00

I need to get a gd blogskin for this blog. Everyone's blog all look so cool, so sparkly, so unique, so nice... and dis one here so boring, the caption doesn't fit the colour oso... Need to get a suitable blog skin for dis blog... one with a cool look... and a big closet..(lolx)...

yay

2005-05-15T00:50:00.000+08:00

-.-"'... stupid internet connection... one simple disconnection is all it takes to delete one big chunk of blog tt i juz wrote... now i no xin qin to write le la... spoiler leh... i'll try to regurgitate out as much i wrote juz now as possible...

arrr... finally, college day is over sia... wooo... means no more practices for 2 more months... acherlli there's nth to woo abt la, 2 months isnt a long time... bud at least i get to take a break, a long and well deserved break!!! yea... den after tt den start worry abt wad best practices thingy tt every cca is to come up with... its smth the sch started for cca's to showcase wad the cca is gd at... and my cca being performing arts de naturally chose putting up performance... and the eyes landed on me and sanji as usual... eh seriously cant we juz give the other pple a chance at getting some limelight for once, dun everytime got difficult or fanciful pieces den all push to me and sanji to handle leh, honestly speaking we are quite tired of it leh...

anyway tt's the reason for the big delay in update of this blog... almost everyday is stay up till v late in sch den come home damn bloody tired, no mood to blog... stay in sch if not rehearsal den is practice the "brazilian street dance", not the dance bud the song... its the title of our 2nd piece... and its a damn funky song, so glad we were playing tt song over blackbird for college day... den almost everyday is prac from 4+ to arnd 7+, until the uncle come and chase us out of the container den end prac... den reach home bathe, eat v late dinner den is sleep le... den tutorials oso nv quite done much... is muz during the break from after lesson to b4 prac tt time den can do tutorials... so these few days realli v tiring... bud braziliance street dance is really a v nice song to play... the bass run is damn funky la...

today woke up atarnd 10 smth, juz enuff time to catch pokemon... den watch all the way till 12... slack arnd a bit and left at 1 smth for lumch... den go sch... den in container 5 hrs b4 the performance we ran thru the songs a bit, den dunno y got 2 hr interval, den juz nice today wh got bring the russel peters video, so the few of us stayed in the container to watch the clip on sally's laptop... and after all this time its still damn funny lolx... went down to canteen to get smth to eat, budden rmbed tt our wallets with ms ng, so no money, ended up sitting on the steps near link way and waiting for pple to come and lend us money haha... saw mori and her frenz walking arnd and she came over and tok cock for a while... and in the end still nv pass her the stuff -.-"'... went back to container at arnd 6 smth, den changed and rushed off for our performance... i heard from some pple in the audience tt our performance was gd... er gd as in they couldnt spot any errors or glitches in the pieces... other than sanji's glitch in the solo... lolx... and the 2nd piece was quite well done... so yay... bud on my part i noe... i screwed the ending solo up.. bud they couldnt hear anyting wrong... so nvm den... overall the 2 songs were quite gd la... juz tt the both of us screwed our solos and juz tt they could hear sanji's error bud not mine... haha *points at sanji* haha... bud yar i'm still glad its over now...

haiz... i look arnd me... everyone got partner liaoz... and i'm here so lonely... i noe such things is cannot rush one la... budden juz tinking of it makes me feel so... hopeless... i feel like such a loser lor... cant seem succeed in tt aspect of life... and i thot life is starting to pick up for me... in the end i'm still struggling in this darkness... haiz...

anyway today is a gd day, until the blog got deleted juz now... juz now's entry was a bit longer than dis lor... bud yar... bbyez

Pimple on shoulder

2005-05-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

i tink my a lvls will be so damn screwed... i really dun haf any time for me to relax... Now SYF over le, still got college day to prepare for... and our 2nd song will not be Blackbird, mind u... its a new song... which means i hafta spend time to learn and memorise it... and my part again v important... not tt i bhb, bud it really is v important... and we haf less than 2 weeks to make it sound gd... as usual... haizzz...

A long weekend juz passed, spent the whole 3 days outside... ok not the whole, bud majority of the whole... and din study at all till arnd... 11.30 last night? k lets start off with saturday...
Saturday, left at 8+ in the morning go EMCC flag day, ate macs breakfast in the morning, damn shiok, den the day was damn hot... anyways tried collecting money at PS there, bud the guard chased us away... so went to chinatown there to collect... business was not bad... the bag quite heavy... bud stand there for dunno how many hours is... yar... after tt rushed of to meet 6hers... went to attend yc's father's funeral... he passed away a few days ago... v sad... details in jh's blog... reached home abt 11 +, damn tired from the flag day... so nv do work...

sunday, woke up juz nice to catch xiaolin showdown lolx... den watch all the way till 1... den immediately went for guitar meeting... meet all the way till 3 smth, honda they all jio me go play dota... so play all the way till 6+, den went depot road there for dinner... on the way home suddenly felt damn friggin sleepy, reach home immediately plop on bed den slp le... was arnd 9+... shit first time so early go bed sia... lolx

monday, ahh dis day was fun... went out at 10+ go heeren marche there... ms ng n mr koh were treating the whole guitar syf grp... bud budget for each person onli 12 bucks... i noe the whole syf grp is quite large... 27 pple i tink... or maybe more... so its considered quite a bomb for them... bud realli in marche 12 bucks wun get u much... one steak tt's "less than A4 size" is $11.20 liaoz...so yar... its marche... bud nvtheless, the food was still gd lolx... den playded zhong ji mi ma and introduced mafia to them... i was narrator... and now kaiyun and amy are both crazy over tt game... dunno y... bud its my fault... sian... anyways after tt in the evening went with family to some hotel there to eat buffet dinner.... and boy the food was shiok... as in SHIOK... lolx... ate until cannot walk sia... bud was realli gd... and i dunno y kept tinking it was a sunday -.- ... den came home 11+ den started piaing for maths test, which was today... the whole thing is screwed la... 3 marks qn 3 steps onli... haha

again today she din tok to me... on msn oso she din tok to me... i tink she really purposely avoiding me... i shldn't be tinking abt such tings, bud sumhow i still feel v affected by it... juz drains away all my energy... T.T...

ar yes, juz dled the russel peters video... shall go watch it now... lolx.. byez

YEA!!!

2005-04-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

First time drinking alcohol so quickly, so much content summore.... feeling quite giddy and quite sleepy now... now i cant slp, even on the bus juz now i cant slp... so i tink i cant slp now... haha... bud its okay.. we do haf a reason for it.. lolx

NJC guitar club went Singapore Conference Hall today for SYF Central Judging. Altho faced with tough competition from schs like RJ and VJ, we are proud to announce tt our guitar club obtained a GOLD!!! A FRIGGIN GOLD!!! YEA MAN!!! lolx... I seem like writing presentation speech for announcement during morning assembly liddat... i tink i juz high on alcohol... anyway yes, we obtained a gold, after dunno how many years, finally guitar club wuld be getting more money frm the sch bcoz of this gold... lolx... Abt today, well arrived at sch at 9 smth in the morning sweating all over, wanted to crash FM lecture, bud felt v awkward so went to join guitar to prepare for later in the day... den rehearsed going up on stage, ran thru the pieces many many many times.... played bridge with the usual pple... sang bdae song for sumbody in guitar forgot his name... den went SCH, waterfall on my body as usual... den juz b4 the performance we, or rather i, were quite tensed up abt it la... busily checking all the tunings and parts of pieces, making sure everyone has the points drilled into their minds... Den during the actual performance itself... everyone played well, i muz say, it really was a job well done... for Granada at least... for Blackbird, lets juz say it could haf been better, bud given the tension on stage... i'm sure it was the best we had... as in we really did try our best... bud i tell u my hands were really shaking like leaves when i was performing on stage la... din hafta remind myself abt vibratos sia, the shaking facilitated it... bud i really did enjoy performing our pieces on stage sia... den we went watch the harp orchestras... man first time seeing a real harp in action, altho there were onli 2 schs competing, bud it was a real eye opener... den when the person announce the results... " GT(some no.) National Junior College... Gold" den i really jumped man... bcoz got quite a no. of schs get silver, n and almost equal no. of schs getting gold... so i was quite jing zhang... den when we got gold i was really v happy... to tink i wld be one of the few pple in this batch to make history in NJ guitar sia... lolx.. schs tt got gold included HC, VJ, TP, MJ, RJ, i tink got one more bud forgot which sch, n us... and Temasek JC got Gold with honours... honestly speaking they deserved it.. their dynamics were fantastic, and piece (first piece) was brilliant and the whole arrangement was v gd... well done TJ, u beat VJ and RJ for honours, and u really do owe it all to ROXY MAN!!! Without roxy man u all couldnt haf done it, REALLI!!! lolx... bud yar they really did play well...

anyway after this still got college day to worry abt, haf less than 2 weeks to master Brazilian Street Dance.. got absolutely no confidance in this piece at all.. bud the gold was a relief for now... i wrote my thank you speech in my earlier blog liaoz... bud at tt time i seriously din tink we wld be getting gold... anyway after tt the exco pple went back to sch, den a few of us went Jelita pizza hut for dinner, den went for a drink of sake... as in the jap wine sake... achelli juz two small cups la... bud at 16% alcohol content and constant drinking... i'm not surprised to be giddy now... lolx.. bud i tink we do deserve a toast to guitar club for the gold... GUITAR ROX!!! woo... now its left harmoc, choir, CO and band to do their stuff and get us our full day off, no intention to pressurise them bud yes, i'm sure they'll be able to get their gold too...

yes this is one day to rmb, i rmb it i shall... this is the first SYF i been to, and the first time feeling so gd abt it... yes i tink my life is getting better for a change... and abt time to... for now, i juz stone off and let go... lolx i want more sake... haha byez

skimming the surface

2005-04-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

Haha... yea my com is back in action... and i accomplished my mission. Set out to reformat my com a few days ago, bud failed... well i did manage to delete all the stupid stuffs, bud when i reinstalled windows, a lot of other stupid stuffs came to screw my com up again... unable to detect graphics and sound card, internet explorer hanging every few minutes... my father got fed up so he went to call the dell person down to set things rite... so now my com is as good as new... so hafta unload all the saved stuff... wasted me a lot of cds u noe...

yea another thing for me to be happy abt... Cultural Mapping is OVER!!! ITS BLURDY OVER!!!! for the j2's at least. And u bet i'm happy abt it, nv been so relieved in my life b4... u simply cannot imagine the tortures i and boss went thru sia... k la i'm juz exaggerating, bud tt's how it goes... and yes at last its not my turn to worry abt such stuff... bud i still hafta continuing providing assistance to the current J1 NE Ambassador now, bud at least i'm not doing all the hard work... Yea ^^

Tml's the big day... the SYF Central Judging for guitar. i'm quite confident tt if we manage to play the 2 songs well tml, we shld be able to get tt gold... gold w/ honours is still a question, achievable, bud i dare not say aniting abt it so soon.... anyways our club has indeed gone a long way, our players haf definitely put in a hell lot of effort to improve the standard of playing of our members... I rmb how it was like when we first got the scores and play the competition pieces... even i was like... kaoz how do u play this, so hard la... and the quality was really beyond er... bud look at us now, we haf improve so friggin much, and all our efforts will see the light of day tml in Singapore Conference Hall... I muz admit this is my veri first SYF competition, i haf absolutely no experience in this at all, bud i'm certain tt if everyone concentrates and remain focused tml, we can really blow the audience away... it is not impossible!! I would like to use this chance to oso thank pple, thank the guitar club for making my life in NJ more enjoyable as i really do look forward to every guitar practice, where i can kid around with sanji and rf.... Wanna thank the exco members, for putting up with my nonsense, guitar 1's nonsense, for continuously showing enthusiasm in the club and nv giving up hope, for putting in so much effort in attempts to improve the playing standard of our club and for organising the club well... wanna thank ms Ng, for her continuous guidance and strictness, for her genuine "want to help the club improve" attitude, for her voicing out her honest opinions... thank mr Kenneth Koh, for his ever-so inspiring speeches and quotes, for his interest in guitar's activities and welfare, and for his constructive suggestions and guidelines on how to improve our club's.. er... everyting. Wanna thank mr Toh, for his teaching and for his time and his commitment to our club, his pro-ness is... i cant find a gd word for describe.. ar u all get the gist.... Wanna thank conductress keeka as well, for putting up with guitar 1's nonsense, for constantly telling us wad to do wad not to do, for constantly helping out in sectionals and and doing her best to get everyone to come together as a club, and for being such a sweet ger ^^... Also wanna thank guitar 1 pple, for being so full of potential, being able so learn and improve so quickly... acherlli is bcoz of sanji's drills la... bud still, yar u all did improve at ungodly speed lolx... And last bud definitely not the least, wan thank President Kaiyun, for putting so much sweat and brainjuice into improving this club, for summoning so much courage to face all the difficulties the club has, like stuff abt concert la, J1 intake la, guitar 1 monkeys la... she really took a lot of pressure managing our club, and for getting everyone together... Finally i wuld juz wanna say tt no matter wad we get tml, as long as we give our all, as long as we do our best, all is worth it bcoz we gained so much in the process, forged a lot of frenships and been thru so much together... So we shall do our best and show to everyone in SCH our efforts tt we put in these 6 months and own the grounds man!!! Guitar ROX!!! woo...

yar i finally feeling quite happy today... bcoz today is realli quite a gd day... altho still got some things pulling my mood down... bud they're all juz illusions of the mind... life is not worth wasting time hurting ourselves with such illusions, they're juz guo yan yen yun... juz a passing cloud of smoke, not worth the time at all... so this is how its like... i hope this continues and not let the dark side get the better of me... haha.. so yar this is kyo signing off... byezz

ooo

2005-04-21T17:54:00.000+08:00

Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female

You are both sensitive and savvy

Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed

But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Today is another stupid day. Woke up late. Ponned CCA unintentionally. Fell asleep in both lectures. Din do tutorial. Din get to play hearts today. GP did essay. Hate doing essays. Crapped thru the 1 and half hours. Broke my specs. On one of the rare days i wear specs to sch summore. Din finish WEP tutorial during the afternoon slot. She din tok to me today. Today juz sux. Bad mood. Sorry guys. Next blog will be better i promise.

Stupid life

2005-04-19T23:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes... i realli wonder, is it juz me, or do i juz dun seem to be able to have a day where i can truly call it a day worth treasuring bcoz it was a happy day... As much as i wan live my life as happily as i can, enjoy the company i haf, bcoz life is short, there is bound to be something tt will screw it up and leave me juz as sad abt my life as usual.. I noe there are a lot more pple out there whose lives r much more tougher than mine... bud it almost seems as if i'm cursed... so much tt its getting scary... wonder if it has anything to do with those idiotic emails tt ask u to forward to at least how many pple within 10 min, if not bad tings will happen or smth liddat... hmm...

After promos, had pw to worry abt... after pw, had cultural mapping to worry abt... now cultural mapping coming to an end (for me and the j2's at least), got SYF to worry abt... And after SYF, got College day performance to worry abt... After tt still got best practices to worry abt, and den prelims and den A lvl's... and den NS... it is all continuous lor... doesn't seem to have any pt where i can truly slow down to catch juz tt little amt of breath.. meaning slacking w/o feeling guilty.... honestly speaking i feel tt haf a v weak character, bcoz i'm sure got a lot of students who hafta carry similar or heavier burdens than i haf... and they seem to be managing well, while i'm here complaining away... lucky i haf this blog here to "earth" away all the troubles... if not all might juz end here yar...

Speaking of SYF... the day of reckoning is drawing closer... and i'm panicking. Truly. i'm seriously panicking. Bcoz of a no. of reasons. Firstly, i haf this big blister on my right middle finger, and i realli mean BIG blister... and it hurts. Everytime i play on guitar. bcoz i pluck the strings with my right hand. And i use onli my index and middle finger to play. And since the middle finger is stronger, i used to mainly use my middle finger to pluck the louder notes. Now tt i haf this blister, and now tt SYF is so near, i haf no time to train myself to use onli index and fourth finger... so i bo bian, hafta continue using middle finger as usual, bud i hafta use it to make notes loud, and sharp, so i hafta pluck hard... on requinto strings... which are basically v high action and v high tension... Wad a nasty timing to have a blister sia... and now it has evolved into one huge lum (lolx) of dead skin, which bulges out quite a fair bit. Well it's quite fun to fiddle with from time to time, budden it realli affects my playing... and my playing cannot be affect, bcoz i playing such a major part of the pieces... looks like i realli hafta slice it off with a knife maybe... ouch... so yar...

Today went SCH, Singapore Conference Hall, the venue of our SYF Central Judging, to familiarize ourselves with the place and with the stage and atmosphere. Honestly speaking, by juz being on the stage itself, even though there were no audience whatsoever, i felt v nervous. Really. By juz playing on the stage itelf i already felt nervous. And it affected my playing alot. Tt's the second reason y i panicking. Third reason is bcoz at SCH today i realised, the acoustics in the hall were so excellent tt every mistake or difference in timing could be amplified and it would seriously affect the quality of our pieces. My pt is tt there are still pple who are playing out of timing, playing the wrong notes, and not able to play together with the rest of the group... and they're mistakes could be easily heard. Apparently there are pple in the group who are "following" those who can play the pieces confidently, and when they're left to play by themselves, cannot get it right. Sad thing is tt in the SCH, the place is so big tt on the stage, the pple in the back row cannot hear the pple in the front and second row, and the pple in the second row cannot hear the pple in the front row... and the pple in the front row are usually the pple who are confident playing the pieces... i'm one of those in the front row fyi... so we hafta really train and drill those who are not confident to really noe the song as well as those in the front row... as during the performance we really can only rely on ourselves and the conductress to bring the song out well... and drilling them to achieve tt standard is not possible within this short period of a few days... arrrghhh...

After the SCH, a few of us went to clarke quay to supposedly buy silver ties for everyone performing, y go clarke quay i haf no idea... bud we went there and walked and walked till 7+ and still couldnt find the shop... so we decided to get them another day... So some went home and the rest went Komala's for dinner... Ms Ng treat ^^ lolx... budden now i realised i shldn't haf gone with them.. The food there is damn heaty, and now i feeling kinda sick... Sure i've been wanting to fall sick for a long long time... bud this is really the wrong time to fall sick... y? bcoz firstly SYF coming... i cannot afford to miss anyone practices now... secondly... NAPFA is tml for me.. i tink... and i cannot fall sick now... even if muz juz lemme go thru tml healthily, ar den fall sick... i cannot let it affect my NAPFA performance... not tt its v gd or wad... juz enuff to get silver... precisely y i cannot let it affect me till even silver oso cannot get...

I live everyday hoping tml will be better, end up being disappointed everyday. Eh i tink i sorta wrote this b4... sounds kinda familiar... and i tink i typed quite a lot today... so shant bore u all anymore... i go slp le... Bbyez

a normal day 2

2005-04-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

Sad. back to being sad. means my resolution failed for this week yet again. Well i did make it a point to seem happier... bud on the whole in the end i still feel it was sad. haiz...

PW results got back le. Got a 3. A friggin band 3. Damn bloody disappointed. My whole grp got 3. While others in my class got a 2 or even a 1. Honestly speaking it came quite a shock to me, altho on the day itself i seem so bo dai ji eh... budden yet its still a disappointment. And i'm sure grace is disappointed too, altho she kept insisting she wasn't sad... bud i could sense the disappointment in her too. Yar even xinhui was sad tt she got a 3... so... i guess there nth i can do abt it now, juz let it be lor... no i shld say wad the teachers and my parents always want to hear me say... Do well for the A's to cover up for this... yup shall go pia tutorial l8terz...

SYF central judging for guitar club will be on the 28th, juz one day b4 jiahui's bdae.. Hope those are free will come down to support us yar... bcoz of this guitar club has been increasing practises and been v busy these days, especially the exco... we whole day brainstorming for ideas on how to improve the standards of our playing... like splitting into small grps and having mini competition, latecomers playing solo in front of everyone, asking non guitar pple to come hear us during our practises and give comments... so on and so forth... and i muz say the exco have really put in a lot of effort and grown a lot of white hair over this matter... for tt i applaud u all and would like to give my most heartfelt gratitude for all ur dedication to the club.... Thank you all for putting in so much effort... U guyz rock yar... so much such tt during last wed's practise, i really thot we sounded veri gd.... thinking abt how awful we sounded back den, i muz say we really haf improve a HELL lot, especially the guitar 2's and 3's... they really improved a lot. I not scared to say guitar 1 still got a lot to improve on, especially part B... bud we will continue drilling them and i'm sure b4 they actual ting itself we will be at our peak, our best... Gold with honours is not tt tough for us to get guyz, we can do it yar... It IS within our reach, so juz pia for these few weeks yar...

Cultural Mapping is almost over for the J2's, bcoz Mrs Thia says its time to hand over all the work to the J1's so tt we can concentrate on our studies. That's a gd ting rite... bud i not feeling happy... at least not now... not bcoz i like CM, bud bcoz to hand over the thing we, or rather I, hafta submit the draft for the brochure to the CM committee. And upload tt draft by yesterday. arnd 2 weeks ago i entrusted this task to jason and told him to discuss with the pple from his grp on coming up with the draft, bcoz i noe from last year's PW tt he was excellent for crapping out a piece of report. Gave him the structure of the thing and the interviews, which shld be enuff for him to come out with the statistical analysis for bt timah... bud 2 weeks later juz yesterday he passed me his draft, which i still din find satisfactory. Apparently he kept concentrating on the backgrnd info of wine and wrote a lot on wine itself, and since i onli handed him the interview transcripts, he says there wasn't enuff information. Well this project focuses mainly on bt timah, and altho i did put backgrnd info as part of the content for the brochure, i onli intended arnd 30% of it to be on backgrnd info. The rest shld talk about the situation on bukit timah. Anyway i had to hand in a draft and the CD containing the pictures and videos was also ready for submission, so i bo bian handed in tt draft together with the CD. Then jason told me to find someone else for the job. I believe it is all juz some communication breakdown between me and raeb la, i personally dun blame him, after all he is juggling between sch and his bunny... Oops shldnt haf said tt... bud yar.. In the end i tink i do it myself wld haf been better la... bud the transcripts are now with him. So i haf the next week to come up with another draft, one tt is more satisfactory... haiz....

Maybe its juz me, bud maybe its u too. I'm not blaming anyone, i'm juz hoping tt life could be a bit more beatiful and worth living, which doesn't necessarily mean i hafta be with u for it to happen. Of cuz i do wish to be with u, bud if u happier without me... den i guess it is only fair of me not bother u with my hope of being with u. I noe i'm not making any sense as usual, bud i really realli hope to get out of this darkness, which i haf been failing everyday as i try. Bud i noe i haf to succeed if i were to be happier again, so I will keep trying... haiz...

arr i tink tt's all i wanna write for today. Time to go pia tutorial le. Byez

a normal day... ??

2005-04-10T23:32:00.000+08:00

Looks like i was wrong... it din vaporise... it came out as one solid piece... i dunno how i did it in the past... omg y am i writing abt dis...

today was a normal sunday... the one which i din do any work. I basically classified my sundays into 2 types: one which i mugged, or at least tried to mug, the whole day, staying at home, in front of com; ant the one which i went out the whole day, with frens or with... frens, or juz played the whole day and dun get any work done. 60% of my sundays haf been the second type, and today was no exception. Not tt i finished all of my work mind u, i'm not as mugger as mad, juz tt i feel i haf done *sufficient* to make me not die until so nan kan the next day... sian i really slack sia...

Today woke up at arnd 10, wanted to slp more, bud my father being addicted to the com which is in my rm, came in and started making a lot of noise... so i no choice bud to wake up. Washed up and den sat in front of the TV watching cartoons until 1 pm, den got rdy go visit grandfather's grave. It's qing ming today yar... so went to some thai association *or so it says* there and met up with my relatives and cousins. Though the experience wasn't as enriching and eventful as wenhao's, bud i still felt a sense of nostalgia as i climb up tt flight of stairs and saw the "cubicle" where my grandfather's urn is located. The last time i went there was dunno how many eons ago le... tt time i rmb it was quite torturous bcoz the whole place was filled with incense smoke... den my eyes hurt a lot... this year i tink bcoz we went in the afternoon, den not tt many pple, so the air was much clearer.

Stoned at the temple (with the pilots, if u get the joke, nvm if u dun) for a while, den went over to andrew's hse to fix up his com. Went there and after arnd 1 and half hrs, still cant install Frozen Throne, den he quite disappointed. Sorry bro, i tink is smth wrong with the CD, so...dun sad yar. Den figured tt we waste too much time waiting for the com to load, and looking at the CJ chio bu's from his yearbk. Gosh CJ 2004 batch got so many more chio bu's than NJ sia... oops... bud yar..

Den went over to PS to look for mori's present, with absolutely nth in mind, as in havent decided wad to get. Was looking for smth simple yet meaningful, oso not too ex. Andy suggested getting a veh cute keychain from a shop at esplanade there, budden went there and found tt the shop dun haf anymore of tt design liaoz... sian... in the end got her smth else, hope she'll like it. Still dunno whether to go for her bdae party... if i go i'll be quite awkward there, coz down there all her frenz i dunno , den i'll be alone there... and its at pasir ris i tink... budden i dun go den i dunno how to pass her her present, and she'll be disappointed... hmmm...

I keep on trying to forget abt her, bud she juz keeps appearing in my mind, in my fantasies, in my dreams... and den i wld juz get so sian diao. Juz now on the bus on the way back i was reminded of the happy times i had with her, the sweetness i felt at tt time... and tt onli means one ting... tt i havent gotten out of this darkness. Now i tink my main goal in life is not to get her, bud to get over her. I'm pretty convinced she has a bf liaoz, so i shldn't interfere in her life anymore and juz get on with my own life, and anyway the 2 of us weren't meant to be, so y force it. So now shld juz get over her, for my own happiness, for her happiness, so tt i can get out of this darkness without having to go maldives...

I realli wish to be like the maldives pple... i really do

Tried Tested and Failed

2005-04-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

I realise hor, all my previous blog entries have been opening with a weather report of the day. And i haf no idea y i do tt, it juz happen to be the first thing on my mind when i start blogging. Today it shall be the same, bud it'll be brief dun worry... Today we yet again witness nature's marvels at changing the weather as if a druid's controlling it... Morning was still normal, fair amt of cloud cover... PE tt time minimal cloud cover, friggin hot... 3 hours later u can hear the thunder roaring frighteningly clearly even in the LT, like around 5 or 6 times in a min. den now v cold... k end of weather report

Today i felt v tired... or rather juz now b4 my shower i felt v tired. I seriously dunno y, its not as if today's pe v tough... bud i juz felt like slping. Aniwae juz now during guitar prac our prac ended like arnd 5.30, den the remaining time kaiyun told us to restring our guitar. We couldn't find the requinto strings, they juz disappeared from the kage, so we couldn't restring the requintos. So Sanji rf and i were helping pple restring their guitars, acherlli is juz me and sanji, rf doesn't give a damn. Den at the end of the session i discovered a big blister on my right middle finger, which means i cant play properly for the next few weeks... sian i hope dis blister drops off by 27th....

Sometimes i realli juz feel as if God is out to make fun of me... Everytime i make a resolution to achieve smth, smth else juz HAS to cock up and get in my way. Even a simple wish like wanting to get out my dark side and feel happy oso MUZ haf smth to pull me back down... I'm almost veri sure tt she has a bf liaoz... saw smth today tt almost confirmed my speculation. I keep saying almost bcoz firstly, i dun tink i shld make definite conclusions until either there is really sufficient evidence to prove my pt or i hear it from her herself; secondly i wan give myself a tiny bit of hope; thirdly i realli not tt sure ma... Bud it was enuff to leave me devastated for the rest of the day. And tt brought me back into the abyss of darkness tt's inside me... looks like i realli hafta fly to maldives to realli forget abt her... haiz...

My thigh muscles are aching... my heart is aching even more...

1024x768

2005-04-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

Today was vv cold, or at least i felt cold thru out the day... which is realli veh rare firstly, in Singapore, secondly at this time of the year... which is almost always very hot and humid... this onli means one thing... the weather is getting more n more crazy as days go by. Now when i say i was cold thru out the day, i meant both indoors and outdoors, all thru the day yes... U see in the morning when i woke up, it was still dark, so as of all mornings, it was naturally cold. Den when i went to sch the sky was quite grey le, so assembly was held in the hall, which had aircon on, and as u might wanna noe our sch hall de aircon is quite cold de... Den maths tutorial was in LT, so got aircon... Maths lecture oso in LT, aircon again.. Den came chem tutorial. I dunno wad they did to the LT 5 aircon, not tt i'm saying its bad, i kinda enjoyed it, better than not having aircon at all... Bud the moment i stepped into the LT, i started shivering le... the whole LT was freezing lor... den i was shivering thru out chem lec... den break it started raining, so again cold... and it continued raining thru out contact phy tutorial and chem tutorial. Den went LT 5 collect chem results, yes LT 5 again... den after tt CCA in LT 1, they turned on the aircon.. so again cold. den jiu night time le... so there u haf it, i was v cold thru out the day.

Now onto the main pt. I was reading a fish's blog over the past few days, and i got sorta inspired in a sense. For those who haf not been reading my previous blogs, i haf been blogging by feelings down and i muz admit... they were not happy feelings at all. Not happy at all. They were all abt my sadness and depression, sadness over her, over sch work, over my parents, and... well mainly over her. And i realised quite a long time ago tt those blogs of mine resembled entries of tt fish whose blog i read.

Recently an event changed tt fish entirely, got him a new perspective in life, got him matured, got him out of tt darkness. And he's happy now, truly happy... i tink... while i'm still stuck here in this pit of darkness, still wallowing in self-pity, still stuck up with sad and painful thoughts abt her... And den i was wondering... if other pple can do it, y cant i? Do i enjoy being in the current state i'm in? Definitely not... who enjoys being sad... Do i want to continue being in the current state i'm in? of cuz not... y wld i wan continue if i not enjoying it... tt's when i got inspired by his blog. After tt event he's writing abt all the joy of having left his sad past and "opened his eyes to see the world from a different view"... er i dun tink those were his words... too lazy to refer to ur blog and quote lolx... and i realise i wanna do tt too... Bud it might take me a trip down to maldives to do tt... and i cant afford to retain myself for 1 more year in NJ juz to haf another go at the maldives trip. Bud i wan get out of this dark side of mine and enjoy my life more... Therefore i haf a resolution for myself... To juz return to my old self, try my v best to accept what i haf now, the pple arnd me now, try my best to forget abt her, and learn to let myself go... Now tt cultural mapping for the J2's is coming to a close, we'r handing all the stuff over to the J1's now, this means a whole load of pressure away from me for rest of the year, i hope i can truly feel the joy of life... the pleasure of freedom... b4 the prelims and A levels come... Man wad a spoiler.. sian..

An almost complete set of common test results i haf... CDEE i got... Not gd, not gd at all.. and i still yet to get GP back. And i dun expect to pass tt paper, i truly dun... i noe i did v badly for tt paper... Altho so far i haf passed my papers, including physix S (^^), it is BUT A PASS!! Honestly speaking it is not wad i wan, bcoz i noe i can do better... and i wan to do better.. At least get myself an A for MC... wad's an FM student without an A in MC for A levels? Therefore my second resolution is to really sit down and mug... i noe i noe it is realli not my nature do such a sacred act... bud yar... i really slack too much le la... altho i tink i wun accomplish it...lolx

Acherlli there's a lot more i wanted to tok abt de... more resolutions i set for myself thru out the day... more stuff i thot abt toking while i was in the shower juz now.. bud my age is catching up on me... i forgot wad i wan say liaoz... Well it ok, i tink i toked a hell lot today, shant bore u guyz out anymore with more words.. so i guess tt's all for today... May my life be much better after today.. yar =)

in the hot march rain...

2005-03-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

The weather is mad... no the weather is crazy these days... sho blurdy friggin crazy... it was raining, and it was hot... i tink is more humid, bud it juz makes me feel hot, as in sweating tt typr of hot... and the sun wasn't even out. No wonder so many pple are falling sick nowadays, like wenhao... having sorethroat and headache... hope u get well soon yar...

Acherlli i oso wan fall sick... its been more than 2 years since i last fell truly sick.. as in truly run a fever and cannot go sch... i noe u all may tink i siao la, who wld wan fall sick... bud yar i wan fall sick... not everytime la, bud once in a while... 2 years le and i miss the feeling of falling sick... falling sick once in a while is quite shiok yar... yar i'm crazy too bud yar my previous attempts at falling sick were all in vain... haiz...

Acherlli it may juz be an excuse to pon sch... not bcoz of the boring lessons and lectures or bcoz i dun wan jiao hw... mainly bcoz i dun wan see her... the more i see her the more miserable i feel at the end of the day... last time no matter wad i wld wan go sch de lor... juz to see her for the day... even if i slightly not feeling well... bud now ar, i nth wrong oso dun wan go sch, bcoz i dun wan see her... And it realli pains me to live everyday liddat... i dun wan to live everyday liddat... i realli wish i noe wad's running thru her mind, if she realli does feel uncomfortable... and i wondering if she got herself a bf liaoz... smth deep inside me tells me she doesnt, bud smth deeper tells me she does... i dunno which to believe.. arrgghhh... damn i starting to sound like someone.... ops...

today during maths lecture, ns ng brought a tablet pc to conduct lecture... TABLET PC sia... anyways she use until halfway den she accidentally press the power button... den the whole thing shut down on her... den the whole lecture theatre applause.. lolx... bud tt wasnt the funny part yet... den after she reboot the com den show the login user name password tt blue screen... and den she blindly type in her user name... which is her IC no. and the whole LT saw... and now we noe her... ahem... yar lolx... learn smth new everyday yar...

i dun do gp hw... v sian... dun wan do projectile tutorial... dunno how to do.... v sian as well... i wan fall sick.... raaa

hot

2005-03-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

tonite is a veh hot nite, the air is veh still, veh humid, veh uncomfortable... and the fan is not helping... ar wad to do, dis is singapore sia....

k finally the ct's are over... except for physix s tt is... overall was not tt bad, juz tt for most of the papers, the ans i got to most of the qns r all i not confident of getting marks one... as in they dun make sense at all... ar anywae its over, dun wish to talk more abt it... f*** physix s la...

today was supp to be quite fun for me... after FM tt is... originally scheduled mahjong session with jim wenhao n seng ee de... den they yesterday cancelled it, changed it to swimming session... den yesterday nite cancelled again, changed to crash j1 orientation... which i wasn't quite interested in... well jim and wenhao had the maldives pple to pei them crash, so i tink they had a lot of fun. Acherlli i quite envious of the 2 of them, got to go maldives, got tons of cip hrs, got a gd tan, made so many new frenz, got new pespective in life... and i'm stuck here, feeling as miserable as i was b4... haiz... i'm back to being an outcast again sia...

N so i was sorta on my own today after the test. Went to a jamming studio in orchard to teach kaiyun to play drums... acherlli was more like refining her drumming. I tink i din teach much, juz told her a bit of basics, den let her practise... Didnt critically assess her weaknesses, which i shld haf done, den juz watched them practise... now i feel v bad, like i juz go there and do nth. Sianz. Den now she v stressed, bcoz she din improve much from today's practice, and den she got jam with mr malmsteen tml... I tink it was my bad, didnt make an effort to improve her skills. Haiz...

den after dinner, went to meet andy. Wanted to DotA de, budden bcoz honda and tham couldnt make it, den onli the 2 of us, so i suggested we play billiards one or 2 games and DotA la... ended up by the time our 1 or 2 games of billiards ended was like arnd 11 pm liaoz.. den wanted to play lan, budden see so many pple down there, den see the counter ger so busy... den we aiya tml den play la... den went home... btw the counter ger v sweet sia... kinda reminds me of someone... hmmm...

haiz juz wish i could be like him la... get lucky enuff to get tt special someone... bud juz dunno y it nv happens to me...

slack...

2005-03-18T22:26:00.000+08:00

Har... Friday le... N i'm still less than 10% thru with my revision... now i starting to panic sia... i noe its not quite useful panicking now la.. bud i juz happen to panic.. rite, den i juz got reminded juz now that i hafta come up with tt GP project the write-up or smth liddat, and again i dunno wad's going on or wad to do... veh familiar feeling and not nice at all, feeling so helpless... sian...

today was basically a veh stupid day, in fact its not quite different from any other days during dis hols leh... tried to do a bit of maths, bud got veh sian shortly after... den went to watch Incredibles on my com, d/led yesterday thru the nite, den spent the rest of the afternoon doing eigen tutorial... bcoz i havent completed it yet...lolx... and dunno y, bud i haf a feeling eigen is coming out for FM... its juz a feeling, i dunno if it really is coming out on thur... o yah speaking of thur, after FM cannot immediately go play mahjong with the gang le... hafta rush of to orchard, den after tt see if got time rush back to wen hao's hse to see if can atleast finish 1 round... bud judging from the speed of our playing ar... lolx

Its been really vvv long since she last called... honestly speaking i realli miss the times we spoke on the phone... missed listening to her rattle on and on and on about all sorts of stuff... nowadays feel so lonely at home, altho my father is always around... bud i rarely speak to my family when i'm at home... at home the person i speak to most frequently is myself, second comes my pika... mmm pika... realli, not tt i'm some zi lian kuang or mentally sick la, bud... yar its juz how it goes at home... so... no one to talk to now, and those who noe me well noe tt i'm not the sort to call and initiate conversations de... i prefer msging.. and now i realli feel v empty, and of course v depressed... with all the pressure of sch, esp tt stupid cultural mapping... and now tt gp thingy... seriously cutting my life span man...

ar tt's all i hafta say now... and currently no one noes abt this blog juz yet... lets see how long this blog remains undiscovered ba... lolx

elloz

2005-03-15T12:06:00.000+08:00

har... now i haf one here too... hi everyone....